Ministry with a Twist

Recently I was at work going over the list of patient's in the facility.  I saw a familiar name and wondered. so I went to the room to visit and it was who I thought it was.  We had a good conversation, this patient is someone who has known me since I was a teenager in the church I was part of from the time my family moved to Hampton Roads. He got better and went home, this week he was back in the Hospital at the end stage of a cancer diagnosis.  He chose to go home with hospice.

Part of the purpose of this blog is for me to reflect on things that impact me.  Mostly about being gay and such.  However, today my thoughts are with this gentleman and his family.  Now there is a twist, often times events at work effect me in different ways, but usually there is a certain distance. This time there is no distance, this is someone with whom I have Worshipped, had many a church dinner with, I have been in his home, his children and I are the same age group, and went to school, youth group and Sunday school together.  This is different.  Yet it is also not different in the way I respond but I gives me sadness on a different level.  He told his children he worked to teach them how to live and have faith.  Now he said he wants to teach them how to die with faith.  They are in my prayers.

A Cancer Warrior

There are two definitions of a cancer survivor in use today.  The most common and relevant is the cancer patient fighting and living with a cancer diagnosis.  There is another definition used by the “I Can Cope Cancer Education program,” which states a Cancer Survivor is one whose life has been touched by cancer.  This could be a patient, a family member, or friend, even a health care professional anyone who has a tie to the patient. This is in recognition of the fact cancer impacts not only the life of the one with its diagnosis, but those who are related to the patient in some way. Cancer changes everything for these folks.  Personally, by the second definition, I am a cancer survivor. Cancer has touched my life profoundly as a Chaplain. 

Here I would like to talk about a term used by a friend of mine, which I think speaks volumes about the individual patient’s fight with this insidious disease. Cancer Warrior,  I would define a cancer warrior as the person with the diagnosis who is determined not to be defeated by cancer.  Not to allow it to steal his or her life, joy, or fun. Rather this warrior fights and fights on.  The warrior does not lose hope or the will to live, even in the face of what may look like defeat the fight changes but continues.  

As I mentioned above, I am a cancer survivor by the fact it touches my life through my patients, and those I know. I look back at people I have known in my youth, whom I looked up to, who dealt with this diagnosis.  I think of the patients whom I have known over the years. For Some I was there soon after they heard their diagnosis, and was with them through their battle to remission.  Others I was with them when the battle changed from curative to symptom management.   I am a survivor because I carry something of each of these people and their families with me that impacted me.  As I learned to be present with them, they taught me about living. I received more from them, than what I might have provided. I carry with me the knowledge of their journey as they shared their narrative with me. What I learned from each of them is often used in my work today.  There is more…

I have in my life a close friend who is a Cancer Warrior, the same friend who introduced this term to me. He is one who has impacted my life in many ways over the years.  His approach to life and many of the issues surrounding being gay is teaching me not to take things too seriously and encourages me to live who I am and do what brings me fulfillment.  He is an example to me of moving forward in that he is not allowing his diagnosis to keep him from reaching toward his goals. In fact it may be pushing him forward.  You see cancer is touching my life through him, but in a more personal way than I have ever experienced.  For the first time, someone close to me who I love has it.  It’s different, I find myself thinking about the side effects of the treatments, thinking about how he is handling it all. I know it gets to him, the fatigue, the routine of treatments, going for tests.  There is the hope of remission and ultimately living life cancer free which is a driving force. I want to do all I can to support him through this and celebrate with him in his victory.

My prayer for him is that the treatments will do all for him it can possibly do. That all cancer cells will be eliminated and even washed from his body. For him to live a long and healthy life, free of the thought of cancer.  I pray for him to be enabled to live his dreams of earning his degrees, teaching, writing and being a published author. My hope for his life is healing, and one day the novel he is working on would be on the New York Times best seller list.  Do you have a cancer warrior in your life?