There is someone in my life today who has been a good friend for a number of years. He knew I am gay before I came to the place in my life where I accepted it. He actually helped with some of my coming out.
He gave me support at a time in my life I needed it most. There is just one thing. At one point after I found peace to be who I am, I found myself falling in love with my friend. I fell hard for him too. At first, there was mutual attraction, but what I wanted he did not want. For a while it was very difficult and painful to deal with. Another friend helped me understand and find the skills to cope. In time I decided, our friendship was important to me and I wanted to keep this friend in my life. Those feelings remained under the surface for a period of time, but I worked to keep the bigger picture in my mind. Today he continues to be one of my closest friends. We love to laugh, shop, eat, and just enjoy each others company when we can. I still love him, but in a different way, he is family to me. Now I think the romance could ever be rekindled? If things were to change, anything is possible. Do I think it will ever happen? I don't know. Am I waiting around for it to happen? No, that would be wrong.
My point in sharing this that love is what is important. Those things done out of love, in a relationship of any type are what bond us together. For most I my life, by default, I was sheltered from the ups and downs of romance by my limited engagement. By a closeted existance. Though through the coming out process, I had been on "dates" there had never been anything serious up to this point. Now I had experienced a falling in love, and the disappointment that could happen. It was a life lesson. What do I want? Who do I want to be and be with? Not sure I have fully answered either of those question since I have discovered I am growing. What I want tends to change as I grow.
What to share next? Is this a date?
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