Well here we come to the wrap up of my series of thoughts on relationships for a gay man. This of course has been from my perspective and a bit of my experience. However limited that maybe. My hope from the very beginning of my coming out saga, has been to find one man to love and who would love me. As with anything in life, it is so much more complicated than that! I have found my ideology gets in the way often times. In a "perfect" world it would be the way my religious background says it should be. Of course according to my religious background's "perfect" world homosexuality would not exist. We know that is not real! This is why I refer to myself as a recovering Baptist!
Let me separate ideology from reality right here. I am a person of faith, it was my faith which helped me "get real" and come out. I distinguish this from the religiosity that kept me afraid and in the closet for the first 35 years of my life. If you wonder what I mean by this, please feel free to search this blog and find my posts on coming out, faith, and theology of coming out. The issue at hand is how do I move forward? Where do I go from here?
The answer is simple, taking a step at a time, one day at a time. See where these steps lead. I have to believe what Jeremiah 29:11 states. God has a plan, its up to me to seek and find the way. Thus far it has been an incredible and exciting journey. Taking this journey has brought some special people into my life. I have loved and lost, and loved again, loved differently. On this journey I have discovered a few close friends for whom I am grateful. I am still searching, will continue. One of my friends has said, he thinks he will always be looking for something better or different. I think the reality its not always better on the other side of the next zipper. It can often lead to pain. That is why there are varying degrees of relating, varying kinds of long term relationships which were mentioned in the early posts of this series. I think its a coping mechanism, the thread again is love. There is a follower of this blog who has a husband he loves and is committed to, he is not one who seeks gratification outside his relationship, because of love for his husband. That is special, that is true love and commitment it does exist in gay relationships. Someone else I talk with says that kind commitment is rare. I'm not so sure about that, we just don't hear much about them. or am I not being realistic again?
For me I will keep on trying and hope for the best. There is someone out there, one I will meet or perhaps I already have met or know him? Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for well wishes and praying!
Staying on my Rainbow Fish Journey
Let me separate ideology from reality right here. I am a person of faith, it was my faith which helped me "get real" and come out. I distinguish this from the religiosity that kept me afraid and in the closet for the first 35 years of my life. If you wonder what I mean by this, please feel free to search this blog and find my posts on coming out, faith, and theology of coming out. The issue at hand is how do I move forward? Where do I go from here?
The answer is simple, taking a step at a time, one day at a time. See where these steps lead. I have to believe what Jeremiah 29:11 states. God has a plan, its up to me to seek and find the way. Thus far it has been an incredible and exciting journey. Taking this journey has brought some special people into my life. I have loved and lost, and loved again, loved differently. On this journey I have discovered a few close friends for whom I am grateful. I am still searching, will continue. One of my friends has said, he thinks he will always be looking for something better or different. I think the reality its not always better on the other side of the next zipper. It can often lead to pain. That is why there are varying degrees of relating, varying kinds of long term relationships which were mentioned in the early posts of this series. I think its a coping mechanism, the thread again is love. There is a follower of this blog who has a husband he loves and is committed to, he is not one who seeks gratification outside his relationship, because of love for his husband. That is special, that is true love and commitment it does exist in gay relationships. Someone else I talk with says that kind commitment is rare. I'm not so sure about that, we just don't hear much about them. or am I not being realistic again?
For me I will keep on trying and hope for the best. There is someone out there, one I will meet or perhaps I already have met or know him? Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for well wishes and praying!
Staying on my Rainbow Fish Journey
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