Its Sunday

Its Sunday, and I did not go to church this morning.  So often I work on Sunday, so when I am off I try to go.  But today I did not, no particular reason.  I am reading, praying, and listening to Christian/worship music.  Guess I am feeling a little blah and did not want to get ready and go.

I discovered something very interesting on the Gay Church site.  The church I was baptized in, a Baptist church in northern Virginia, is now American Baptist, and part of the Alliance of Baptists.  It is listed on Gay Church.com as an open and affirming church.  On the church webpage, they identify as welcoming, and affirming. Makes me wish I could attend there again. 

Its a gorgeous day so I'm going to get out in it some today.  Hope you have an awesome Sunday.  

Sin or...Something Else?

 

 SIN OR WHAT? The cartoon below was in the paper a few days ago, and I thought I would share it along with some thoughts.  I am always struck by how closed and judgmental some religious groups are. Notice I said religious, not just Christian.  It runs through all religions I think.  Whenever some disaster, disease,  or some other crisis befalls us, there is some person of faith who makes the statement, this happened because YOU did some bad thing.  Its  God's judgment and punishment for something.  Well I say NO. 

 

 God did not make the fire burn down your house, God did not give you cancer, or some other negative thing because you are a bad person, did something bad. I have come to understand, these things happen because we live in an imperfect world. They happen as part of life lived in what a Christian calls a fallen world. True there often is a cause and effect if a person smokes for 60 years it most likely will cause some kind of health issue, but God did not cause it.  60 years of smoking caused it.  You drive 90 miles an hour in a 55 zone you might get arrested.  Now I also believe in God's protection, often times I am protected even though I did something stupid.  god did not cause the storms, tornadoes and such to destroy property because people did bad things.  its a weather pattern.  This is not to say God might not use it to bring about something in one's life. The Biblical principle here runs through the entire Bible.  Something might be evil, or negative, but God brings something good out of it. Sure its hard, but there are many examples in Scripture of the hard things bringing something better about.  Jesus talked of the wine press, Peter talks of trials by fire, James even talks about facing trials with JOY! Knowing the result will be something good, better, and there is a reward.  In the old testament, we see it when Jeremiah, Nehemiah, and others experience trials and end up bringing something good about.  Hence the statement the world means it for evil, but God means it for good.

 

Another point,

Matthew 7:3-5

New International Version (NIV)

³ “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

 

 

I think these verses say it plainly, the people who like to point out with such judgment the sin of another, should pay more attention to their own problems and sin. Before they try to call attention to others troubles. 

 

To break it down farther:  When anti gay people start judging the gay community and spewing hateful venom, especially in the form of invoking god's judgment, beware!  Think of Matthew 7:3-5.

 

 

Finally, when someone says this happens because of God's judgment, think of the Peanuts cartoon  and smile! 

September Sweet September!

The calendar has rolled around to September again.  I love it!  It means autumn is near, I love autumn as much as spring.  The colors, the coolness in the air, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all around the corner. Oh and its my birthday month! Yep will be a year older blah! I'm going to think of it as being a fine wine, gets better with age!

Today, I missed going to church all together, I had planned on going, but was not sure where to go, then thought I would just go to my home church.  Then a friend contacted me last night and we made plans for this morning that precluded me going to church. Then this morning, those plans changed again, and I missed out all together.  On the other hand I relaxed, walked three miles and got laundry done. 

Church, I wish I could find a church I can be at home in as a gay Christian.  A church that is affirming of me as gay.  They are out there, just hard to find. So I still want to visit around. Which I will on a regular basis. 

Diet and Exercise My friend is inspiring me to be more regimented in my diet and exercise than I have been,  I need to pay more attention to amounts and what I eat.  Now that I am only on call 2 nights a week and not running back and forth like I was, perhaps I can do better. I hope to be in a better sleep pattern, that is a key to healthy metabolism. My friend Branden is making progress and living healthier and exercising.  He is blogging about it as well, check his blog out and encourage him and perhaps be inspired yourself!  See the link to his blog below, or click the link on the sidebar of this blog.

 http://www.madfatmandiary.blogspot.com/

Happy September to you all!




 

Saturday Thoughts

On call last night was uneventful, which can be good for the patients.  There are a lot of thoughts going through my mind today.  Rather eclectic. 

First, I am pleased with the Supreme Court rulings on Same Sex marriage.  That gives me some hope for the future.  Its nice to know there are some legislators who are embracing the rulings and making preparations for the future legislation in regards to this issue. Its a good thing.

On relationships, and friendships. No matter close or not, work related, or personal,  always seem to be complicated in some way. But nothing real in life worth anything is ever simple.  Especially where love is involved. And unrequited love is such a painful bitch! One of my prayers is not to experience this again in my life, but that is the risk one takes when opening up to another person.  It can be worth the risk.  I don't regret taking the risk either.   I still hope one day to find that special someone, if that person exists. If not well  I have friends in my life to whom I offer and give love no matter what. Who I could never turn my back on, who are worth the struggles of relating and  their love is returned. True friends in your life can be like family, the family you choose.

I read a quote today, "Friends can be lovers, but lovers are not always friends" there is truth in that.

Wow does that sound mushy or what?  

On a lighter note, my plans for starting classes are in motion, I have a meeting this next week with the Admissions Director to discuss the classes I plan to take this school year, and the financing, also possible aid sources.  I plan to take a class on campus the fall semester, I think that will give me a good start, the winter semester will be online.  That will save me the trouble of winter travel. 

My roommate and I will be moving to a new place in another part of town in about a month.  I hope this new place will be a better experience for us than where we are now.  Especially maintenance wise. The one thing I will miss about this complex, is the lake, trees, wildlife and peaceful setting.  But I won't miss the parking issues, water leaks, out of date appliances, and HVAC.  Unfortunately idiot neighbors are every where. 

Well I think that is enough thought letting for one post.
Happy Saturday!

 

Tuesday This and That

As I sit here doing my morning computer tasks, I am listening to the President speak on the devastation of the tornado's.  I can not begin to imagine what it must be like to lose everything like that.  I know the fear weather can cause, where I live is prone to hurricanes, which can be devastating as well.  Still I cannot imagine losing a home, and possessions' to such a storm.  Everyone in the path of these storms, who have been or will be impacted are in my prayers. For practical ways to help visit the Red Cross web page. Also keep in prayer those who respond to help that they be strengthened, and enabled to provide the help needed.

A few days ago, I received an offer of a debit card, and a proposal to promote the card on this blog. It was a card that donates to marriage equality, and LGBT issues.   I gave it some thought at least briefly, but decided that was not something I wanted to do with this blog.  I write here to share my journey, to put forth  my own agendas not someone else's agenda.  So no $25 for me, no promotion here.

Seminary update, I am in the process of selecting my classes for next year. I have enough cash squirreled away to pay for one class. So I think it will be on campus Old Testament for the fall. I may continue with the second half of OT in the Winter Term or perhaps an online class since I won't have to travel. I am looking forward to this portion of my journey.

Once the weather is more stable on a day I have time to get out and work in the patio "garden" I will have some pictures to share. I have taken a few already but will share those at that time as well.  I do miss a yard to putter around in.
Stay tuned! 

 

A MILESTONE FOR THIS BLOG

I check my blogger dashboard frequently, mostly to see the blogs I follow. Its interesting to see where the readers are from, some all over the world.  As well as the posts they view, I only wish there were more comments or dialogue.  I guess there is not much to say?  I started blogging to express myself, and write about my journey out of the closet.  I also wrote about some of my experiences, and hope and dream for a relationship.  My blogging has evolved overtime to include not only my personal journey and thoughts on gay issues, also anything that comes up I want to comment on.  a regular post I started is Monday Medley, where I share songs I like. some by a theme, others are random selections I hear on the radio. 

The milestone?  This blog has had over ten thousand views!  I hope some of my blogging will give a different perspective on being gay and Christian. Sometimes I blog to express myself and invite your thoughts, experiences, to see if I am off track, on track or whatever. 

I thank you for your interest in my blog, your comments, emails, encouragement. Please keep reading! Speak once in a while!

Happy Easter 2013!!!

The Scripture tells us the disciples had a greeting, it went like this...

HE IS RISEN! to which the response would be...HE IS RISEN INDEED!

Today is a busy day in my life, I am working, I will be rounding at one facility and on call for another facility.  In all honesty, I am not looking forward to running back and forth all day. Then again there may not be any calls... just maybe. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Signs of Spring and a Trip to Richmond

Yesterday I was in Richmond for a few hours, and to my amazement, there was snow on the ground!  On Sunday/Monday we had rain, Richmond had three inches of snow.  It was odd seeing blooming trees, and bulbs with the white stuff on the ground.  I wish now I had the presence of my mind to take a few pictures. Alas and the blossoms I did not.  as I drove there and back, I noted the bird songs I heard, and the blossoms I saw.  Forsythia, crab apple, pear, daffodil, hyacinth to mention a few.  I look forward to seeing the azalea and dogwood blossom.

My mind was on my purpose for being in Richmond.  An interview with the Admissions Director of  graduate program I have applied for. it went well I think.  The next step is for my application package to go before the admissions committee. I do not anticipate any issues at this point.  Some exciting news is they are retooling the Master of Divinity program, pending Association of Theological Schools approval.  I may take another look at that program in the next year.  For now I'm sticking with my application for the Master of Theological Studies degree. My interviewer is suggesting I need to have a conversation with the dean concerning transfer of my Clinical Pastoral Education Units into academic credits, especially if I transfer into the new M.Div.  I will pursue this, and I hope most if not all of the credits I have will transfer into my program. 
   
First though is the official  acceptance into the program must be attained. .


 

Gay In The News

Another State has legalized Same Sex Civil Unions!  Thank you Colorado! This brings the number of States with some form of legalized Same Sex Unions to eighteen. The forms of approved Same Sex Unions are marriage, Civil Unions, Domestic Partnerships.  Its nice to know progress is being made on this front.  Though my preference is marriage, any movement toward same sex marriage is a positive development. 

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz has defended the company's support of same-sex marriage.
Mr. Schultz stated the decision to back marriage equality was not for economic reasons, but for "respecting diversity." a very good reason, I like companies who value diversity. 

Chik Fil A, an update according to various sources, the company no longer supports or lobbies against Marriage Equality.  I may reevaluate my avoiding this Chicken.

Here is a link to a Stephen Colbert comment piece on the challenge to DOMA.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/423360/january-30-2013/the-word---it-gets-worse

Happy Friday to All

So There Is A New Pope!

Though I am not Catholic,  I watched with interest for the selection of the new Pope. So now the selection has been made, Pope Francis is set to be officially installed next week. I like the name he selected for himself, Francis, obviously a nod to St Francis of Assisi.  I wonder what kind of leader he will turn out to be? How will the trappings of his office and power impact him as time goes by?  Well only time will tell.

He is the first Pope from this hemisphere! That is a good change, from Argentina, South America, I am told this area of the world has forty percent of the Catholics in the church.  I also understand the part of the world he is from holds to a liberation theology.  I wonder if or how that will carry over to his Papacy?    Again time will tell. 

Pope Francis is conservative, traditional which does not surprise me.  This means we will not see any movement on LGBT issues, female Priests, or other social issues. In Fact I read in Jeremy's blog,  My Side of the Street, his post  title New Pope Francis believes same-sex marriage and gay adoption are the Devil’s work, where the new Pope has made anti LGBT comments in the past.  I do not expect this to change.

So no surprise it will be the status quo. yet there maybe changes in other ways on other issues. As stated before only time will tell!

A Reason To Celebrate!

Next week I begin a new position with one of the hospitals I work for.  I will have a change in my classification.  Which means guaranteed hours per pay period,  benefits. I will stay non exempt which is good since I will still have shift differential,  holiday pay when I work a holiday, and overtime.  (not that they allow overtime) Did I mention benefits?  Something I really need!

Most of my hours will be at the hub Hospital, but I will still work a shift hour at the smallest Hospital in our system.  This will give me more hours, and I will still work flex-pool for the other health system. I may need to reevaluate that but I like the idea of keeping my foot in the door there. 

This has been a long time in coming.  I am relieved, and very pleased! Next I have an interview for admission to the Master of Theology program I have applied to. I hope to start this in the summer, and that most of my credits will transfer. However, I have discovered my Clinical courses will not transfer which is a disappointment. Also I may not be able to take the pastoral counseling courses I want for my electives in this program.  Though it maybe allowed, I hope!  So if you pray please pray for that to be allowed. its part of the reason I chose this school and degree.

I want to celebrate!

Self Acceptance or Self Hate.

There are a number blogs I follow, some publicly, a few privately. Usually, there is something in particular in the blog that draws me to keep checking and reading, sometimes commenting. A few I check and read daily.  There is one I read today which struck a chord in me, I want to highlight here. Its Rick Modien at This Gay Relationship.  He writes about his relationship with his husband of twenty plus years. In the post "Do The Work Now", he makes the point that until a gay person, comes to the place where he or she "learns to understand, accept, and love"  him or herself  how can  one accept and love that special someone?  Indeed this is true for anyone, straight or gay.

Rick has hit the nail on the head with this comment in his post. This is so important, somehow, some way there is a path to understanding and loving oneself as a gay person.  Otherwise, I think we can sabotage our relationships.   Self loathing only leads to self destructive behaviors, and destroys loving relationships

I recall when I finally came to the place where I found peace with my sexuality.  It was such a huge relief to me, I blogged about it here in a series of posts in 2008, then updated in 2010.  Yet the work continues. I don't think it is something that is ever complete, because I believe we evolve and grow.  Speaking for myself, I know its something I need to keep working on and growing.  For others it maybe something you need to grow through. 

The work is often not easy, otherwise it would not be called work!  How do you start?  One step at a time, one issue at a time find your path.    I encourage you as Rick says in his blog "do the work"

Monday Medley: A Mixer

Another Monday,  today is Presidents Day, many have today off in its honor. Something that really gets me, in the midst of a financial crisis, pending sequestration, Congress is on yet another break.  A paid  break!  WHY? There are millions of people who will be negatively impacted by the sequestration on March first,  and Congress takes a  nine day break. Well they are a do nothing Congress. 

I hope today is a good day for many. Here are several items for your enjoyment.

In honor of Presidents Day: http://youtu.be/zGq4MPxEwqQ

Paul Harvey God Made a Farmer: http://youtu.be/nHjV-FPMm_I

God Made A Gay Man, Crewe Magazine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCuw-cIoWa0&feature=player_embedded

Lord of the Dance woke up with this song on my mind: http://youtu.be/1fzRZuGEr04   2 Sam 6:12-15,

      12Now it was told King David, saying, “The LORD has blessed the house of Obed-edom and all that belongs to him, on account of the ark of God.” David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom into the city of David with gladness. 13And so it was, that when the bearers of the ark of the LORD had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fatling. 14And David was dancing before the LORD with all his might, and David was wearing a linen ephod. 15So David and all the house of Israel were bringing up the ark of the LORD with shouting and the sound of the trumpet.








 

The Pope to Resign!

Yesterday's news, but I had to comment.  I am not Catholic, but as a Protestant who knows many who are Catholic, this is really big news.  The first time in 600 years a Pope who is resigning. It has taken the world by surprise!

 

 

My hope for the next Pope as a Protestant, gay man.

 

I hope the next Pope is more progressive than any there has been in decades.

I hope the next Pope is able to at least crack the door to making the Catholic church more open, accepting, and affirming of the LBGT community.

I hope the next Pope is open to discussing allowing Priests to marry.

I hope the next Pope is open to discussing Women as Priests. 

I hope the next Pope is from Canada or the U.S.A.

One can only HOPE!

 

Oh and apparently the picture above is indeed real! Ponder that one!

 

Go With The Gut Feeling!

Well I did not go with my gut feeling and I should have. Several Posts ago, I talked about a date I had. I said then I did not think he was the one.  So I thought I would try and be friends with him.  After spending sometime with him, I knew this would not work.  He was too nervous, afraid someone would "know" we are gay. Everything to be secretive, it seemed.  I continued to text and call, trying to be a friend.  Then every time a plan was made, for a lunch or dinner, it was cancelled for one reason or another. So I got the message.

Next time I will remember to listen to my gut, something I learned to do in my work, I have to remember this in the off hours.  As the saying goes...NEXT! .

The Master of Theological Studies

Well I have spent time reading degree programs online, trying to find a degree I can do online. I found two programs that offered most of what I need and want. I decided to work on the application for a Master of Theological Studies.  The school is a two hour drive from here, but offers online options for study. This school is a Baptist School but affiliated with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, and Alliance of Baptists.  Both groups are more moderate and promote equality for sexual orientation. I checked the Mission Statement and Covenant, the Student Handbook and saw nothing that concerned me...at least thus far.  The application requires 2 references, I have not seen anything about church endorsement.  It also requires a 1000 word essay answering questions about what the degree will help me accomplish, and why I chose this school. An interview with faculty is also required. Something I like about this particular program is it offers 3 elective course opportunities. There is a course elective that is a Pastoral Counseling Practicum I would love to take, it offers a course in crisis intervention as well. Those would be two practical electives.  One thing I don't like is the Biblical Language requirement, at least it just requires one language in a  two course sequence. However, it will be to my advantage for any further work I might wish to do. Still I would prefer to use those hours toward pastoral counseling or theology. Unfortunately, I am told my Clinical Pastoral Education will not transfer into this program.  Below is the breakdown of courses

One of the following two course language sequence in the Biblical studies area:

MAB1121 introduction to Biblical Hebrew I

MAB1122 introduction to Biblical Hebrew Il or

MAB1521 New Testament Greek I

MAB1522 New Testament Greek ll

Required courses in the Biblical Studies area:

MAB1111 lntroduction to the Old Testament I

MAB1112 lntroduction to the Old Testament ll

MAB1511 lntroduction to the New Testament I

MAB1512 lntroduction to the New Testament ll

Required courses in the Historical/Theological Studies area:

MAHT2111 lntroduction to the Christian Tradition I

MAHT2112 lntroduction to the Christian Tradition ll

MAHT2311 Christian Theology I

MAHT2312 Chriistian Theology ll

MAHT2410 lntroduction to Christian Ethics

MAHT2650 World Religions 

One the following courses in the Biblical studies or Historical/Theological area:

MAB1070 Models of Biblical lnterpretation

MAB1OSO Topics of Biblical interpretation

MAB1091 Biblical lnterpretation in the Church

MAHT2312 Theology of the Church

MAHT2411 Christianity and Culture

MAHI2622 Perspectives on Global Christian Movements

MAHT2652 Jesus in a Pluralistic Age

Three Elective or specialization courses from the M.T,S. program options:

MAXXXX Electives

MA4090/99 Thesis or Comprehensive Exam

Total semester hours required for degree program completion: 51 semester hours. With what I have that will transfer in should bring my required courses to I hope 14.  This looks like a good program.

Tuesday Rambles: Career Thoughts

I continue to consider my future, completing my degree, and work as a Chaplain. I completed two online career assessment tools, which provided similar results.  I am best suited for a helping profession such as Social Service, ie counseling, religious support, or a teaching career.  I found it interesting I scored high on administration, high on persuasive skills, high on intuitiveness amongst others. It has helped to know I am a track that is good for me. Just have to find the right fit in job and education. I am not second guessing my call, or gifting, but I am questioning the direction for my future.  I may do an online spiritual gift test as well and see if that has changed any, also how it compares with the career assessment.  I am looking at other types of work in  counseling, aftercare in a funeral home setting, or even some type of teaching position.

I have done a little online research into schools and their degrees.  I am looking at more moderate to liberal seminaries including a few in my state. One thing is clear, whichever I choose, it will be at a significantly higher cost.  I will consider it the financial cost of being true to myself and the one I believe in. Specific degrees I am considering are...

Master of Theological Studies, two programs I like, one is 52 credit hours, the other is 60 credit hours.  Both require one Biblical language (2 courses), which I am not crazy about, I would rather take a pastoral counseling or pastoral  theology course with those hours.

There is an Master of Christian Leadership at one of the schools, which is 52 credit hours that might meet my need. Another school has a Master of Religious Education (60 credit hours) it can be done on a Friday/Saturday format.  Each of these would give me the credits I need for Certification on the Associate level with the Association of Professional Chaplains. As well as say I hold a Master degree.  Which is a good place to start.

I am not considering a 90 some credit Master of Divinity, since I am already ordained. Also under consideration is some type of counseling degree that would give me a credential toward pastoral as well as bereavement counseling. Originally I was thinking of just adding on courses as continuing education. Or toward the additional credits I need for full Board Certification. This is quite a process.

Looking back I do so wish I had the strength and self awareness to come out when I was young.  I would have had more time making these career decisions! However, I have to believe things come about in life on God's time not my time.

The Wrong Question to Ask!

Several days ago I made mentions of a problem with my planned application for graduate study.  Well here are the details...I found an online degree program that had everything I was looking for. it was affordable too. I even discovered my employer provides $2500 a year in tuition reimbursement for my job classification! So I was all set to apply, reading through the online application, I discovered a problem.  There are a series of questions, petty standard like have you been convicted of a felony, are you a citizen, then the question I just do not like or want to answer.  In fact I will not answer, and will not be applying to this school or other schools that ask this question.

The question;  Have you EVER engaged in Heterosexual misconduct or Homosexual behavior? i.e. engage in sex, going to gay clubs, gay chat rooms, talked about gay issues, basically are you a homosexual?  Say what??  Let that one sink in a minute....  and I thought don't ask don't tell was alive and well in the church.  Not the SBC.

Now it crossed my mind to answer the question with a NO.  However, that would be putting myself back in the closet, it would be a lie and counter productive.  Now I also thought about saying yes, but this also would be counter productive.  I am certain it would disqualify my admission and could get back to my home church.  I do not want to confirm any one's suspicions.  Then also I don't think its any one's business what my sexual preference is.

Not only do they basically ask about one's sexuality, to out oneself, they couple it with a misconduct question!  That's the SBC for you. They firmly believe people like me are hell bound, regardless!  Not gonna move them on that one either.  I checked another SBC seminary and it had the same series of questions.  I am disappointed at this, but not going to let it stop me.  I will find a school where its not important. 

A friend sent me a link to United Church of Christ seminaries, since they are open and affirming. I'm looking at them, along with a couple of more liberal seminaries here in my state. Two offer a combination of online and on campus options. The Online option is important to me.

Anyone have any suggestions?  I will continue this discussion in future posts. 

 

Transgender Rembrance Day 2012

In honor of Transgender Remembrance Day.  Let us all think of those who have been killed or injured  simply for being Transgender.  For daring to be in public as they view themselves.   For seeking recognition and love as they are for who they are.
Let our community continue to stand against this kind of  discrimination, and hate.  Please take a moment and pray for those who seek to be true to who they are.
Anti gay hate crimes and discrimination need to be included in all non discriminatory laws.

Lets stop the hate!

Post Election 2012

Voting on the day. Well its all over! No more political ads!  Several things I want to sound off on about the election, first the long lines.  Knowing this is such an important election, plans should have been made to have more help at the polls, especially with checking voters in. Second, more voter machines would have helped as well. 

Now for the results.  I am very pleased that President Obama has been re-elected.  He most closely represents what I am looking for on tax and social issues especially.  I am pleased our state elected a democrat to Senate.  However, I am not pleased with the outcome of the House race, oh well I guess.  I had hoped for at least a closer split in the House, that the far right wing tea party people would have their wings clipped.  I feel they have contributed to the worsening gridlock we have in Congress. not sure how things will be in the near future, but time will tell.

It appears Virginia is now a 'Blue" state for the most part at least.

Gay Marriage:  Now the really big results for the Gay community!  Same Sex Marriage has been approved by popular vote referendum in two states!  I hope and think this represents changing in views of the general population. My roommate told me about an article he read where in the 90's many did not know a gay person, (reality check, they did not admit knowing a gay person)  In 2012 a large portion of the population says they have a gay friend or relative.  How times are changing, as Martha would say "Its a good thing" 

Lets keep our country, President, Congress and economy in our thoughts and prayers as they seek to lead and deal with issues we all face.