MY HOW TIME CHANGES THINGS!

Back in the early 1970's I was a preteen, we lived in Northern Virginia.  At that time, I started attending a local Southern Baptist Church.   I was Baptized in that church, and stayed there until my family moved to Hampton Roads.  Looking back, I guess that church was always on the moderate to liberal side, thinking back to the worship style and traditions we had.  For instance exchanging Pulpits with an Episcopal, a Presbyterian, and a Methodist Church.

Flash forward to 2014,  I was on a site  I go to sometimes called www.Gaychurch.org, Looking down the list of affirming churches in Virginia, I noticed northern Virginia has the most affirming churches in the state, followed by Richmond.  Second thing I noticed there was a church with the address of that church I attended on the list!  However it had a different name, so I clicked on its website, and  found it was the church I was Baptized in!  It's American Baptist and part of the Alliance of Baptists now.  Yes it is open and affirming!  Wonders will never cease, will they?  In fact, as I scoured the site, I found that Music Director is openly gay, the Church Administrator description says she lives with her partner, (Female).  I noticed a link to the DC Pride site, and the Co Pastor saying they would have a table again this year at DC Pride.  WOW! to think I was a member of that church. 

I am going to try and plan a long weekend soon and go to church there.  If I there was ever a position that would pay me enough to live there again, I might try it.   

Its Sunday

Its Sunday, and I did not go to church this morning.  So often I work on Sunday, so when I am off I try to go.  But today I did not, no particular reason.  I am reading, praying, and listening to Christian/worship music.  Guess I am feeling a little blah and did not want to get ready and go.

I discovered something very interesting on the Gay Church site.  The church I was baptized in, a Baptist church in northern Virginia, is now American Baptist, and part of the Alliance of Baptists.  It is listed on Gay Church.com as an open and affirming church.  On the church webpage, they identify as welcoming, and affirming. Makes me wish I could attend there again. 

Its a gorgeous day so I'm going to get out in it some today.  Hope you have an awesome Sunday.  

Church Today

Once a month now, I am visiting a church of a different denomination.  Mostly I am looking for different Worship experiences, but also looking at the possibility of finding a denomination where it my sexuality and being a minister/chaplain would not be an issue.

Today, I visited an Episcopal church close to home.  This particular Parish has been on my list since it  is listed on the website www.gaychurch.org, as being an open and affirming congregation. Also, the Episcopal Church, ordains gay Priests, Deacons, and Bishops.  I enjoyed the service, it was very different from what I am used to.  I did not stay for the Eucharist, or Communion since I am not Episcopalian.  The Sermon was brief, (nothing wrong with that) and spoke to me in that the Rector talked about singing the song that is in your heart, and singing it loudly.  He made the point our individual song are the gifts, and talents we have within us.  Let them out of us and use them to the glory of God. I left after the offering was taken and they were singing the offering Hymn. 

I may visit here again sometime. Next month I am thinking of visiting a Disciples Church.

Tomorrow's Monday Medley will be the annual Halloween edition.   

Saturday This and That

Its the last Saturday of the month, its Labor Day weekend.  As usual its truly a Labor weekend for me, I was on call last night and had calls, so I worked.  Monday, Labor Day I will be covering the Trauma Center in our area during the day, at least I won't be on call! Today and tomorrow I am off and going to relax!  Of course church on Sunday, but what church? mine or visit another? Decisions.

The weather has been unusually cool for our area for this time of year. I like it, but I hope we don't pay for it later.

Gay in the news!  Some exciting developments this week:

• First, Wal-Mart is extending benefits to the same sex partners of its employees, that is good news.  Makes me want to shop there more!
• Second, the Treasury Department is going to allow deductions/exemptions for same sex partners (married/civil) no matter whether the state in which they reside has legalized same sex marriage.  This is due to the Supreme Courts overturn of parts of DoMa!

• In addition to this, a California federal Judge has ruled that the Department of Veterans Affairs can not ban married same sex couples from receiving benefits their heterosexual counterparts now receive. Again thanks to the Supreme Court ruling. 

• Lastly, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will be the first Justice to officiate at a Gay wedding.  This takes place today in Washington DC, she also hinted that next month there will be another gay wedding she will officiate.  Exciting to me! 

 Progress is being made!

 

New Jersey Law!!

There are now two states which have enacted laws banning gay conversion therapy for children. California being the first state to pass such a law.  Its a good thing to protect children, plus the reality is this therapy does more harm than anything and never truly changes anyone. In fact, there is a higher instance depression, and suicide among teens in this kind of therapy.  To tell you, at one time early in my coming out, I looked into this kind of therapy.  I am so glad I decided against it! 

Several significant points I want to make about this New Jersey law are the fact this law was signed by a Republican Governor.  Not only that but Chris Christie attached a note saying he believed people are born gay.  That homosexuality is not the sin it is purported to be by mainstream Christianity.  What a break from his party! What a break with his Catholic background. Perhaps a smart move if you want to run for President? This is a significant event!

Now I hope more states enact similar laws protecting children from this kind of "therapy" or what I consider abuse.  This is progress!
 

Being Outed

Recently I learned that a former manager in my department told the Clincial Pastoral Education (CPE) supervisor shortly after he came to our department that I was gay.  Don't know any details of how or why that conversation occurred. Fortunately this one he told is LGBT friendly! This is interesting to me in the fact that I never came out to this manager, and not sure how he was sure enough to tell someone else.  I am certain he suspected.  Now I am wondering who else he told?

Since this gentleman is no longer employed with the company, this occurred three maybe four years ago now, and so far nothing negative has come from his outing of me.  I don't really have any need for recourse. At least that is my thought at this moment.  I have no need or desire to contact this man and talk about this. No need to.

I will say that I think it is dead wrong for anyone to out another person to anyone.  Its not their business, not their place! The damage that can from the doing this could catastrophic to the one who is outed.  Its up to that person to come out to whom he or she chooses, and it being a workplace makes it more critical in my mind.

As for the CPE Supervisor, he did not ask me to confirm or deny, just that he was uncomfortable with this information and felt it was time for me to know?? My thought What's that all about?  It could be there is a CPE student  this summer who is openly gay.  I am aware it has been an issue with some of the other students.  I don't know why now?  I guess it does not really matter.  At least I think it does not.

Now I have ad conversations with two of my closest friends about different guys and acknowledging they are gay, but it goes no further, and we three understand the importance of that.

If you are ever tempted to out someone for whatever reason, Please don't! Its the wrong thing to do!

I may say more about this in the near future.

A Song to Share: Same Love

Now this is a song to share. I was pleased to hear this song on the radio, and I looked it up,  So now I want to share it here. I like how this song makes the point for marriage equality.  Love,  does not know boundaries.  Love between a same sex couple is the same as love between a man and a woman. It should be recognized.

Same Love Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
http://youtu.be/g1TBgcctcco

As stated previously in this blog, same sex attraction is not a choice, its part of one's make up the same as heterosexuality is. Society has made it something it should never be, this has made some many hide it, hide from it. Hate toward the LGBT community happens constantly.

The religious community for a large part has played a role in promoting this hiding, and promoting hate toward the LGBT community as a whole. In my view, as a Christian minister, the Bible has been misused in the process of promoting hate and exclusion. As stated in the song if hate is preached, the Holy Water becomes poison.  That is a crime.

This is why some many walk away from "religion"  Some from God.

The love I experience is not cheap, its not wrong.  The love I experience is wonderful, beautiful, as special as that of any straight couple.

God gives love, God IS love, so by this definition love between two men, or two women is a God thing.

I Corinthians 13 The love chapter of the Bible includes

Love is kind, love is patient, love does not take into account a wrong suffered. . love never fails, Fath, Hope love, the greatest of these is LOVE.

 

A MILESTONE FOR THIS BLOG

I check my blogger dashboard frequently, mostly to see the blogs I follow. Its interesting to see where the readers are from, some all over the world.  As well as the posts they view, I only wish there were more comments or dialogue.  I guess there is not much to say?  I started blogging to express myself, and write about my journey out of the closet.  I also wrote about some of my experiences, and hope and dream for a relationship.  My blogging has evolved overtime to include not only my personal journey and thoughts on gay issues, also anything that comes up I want to comment on.  a regular post I started is Monday Medley, where I share songs I like. some by a theme, others are random selections I hear on the radio. 

The milestone?  This blog has had over ten thousand views!  I hope some of my blogging will give a different perspective on being gay and Christian. Sometimes I blog to express myself and invite your thoughts, experiences, to see if I am off track, on track or whatever. 

I thank you for your interest in my blog, your comments, emails, encouragement. Please keep reading! Speak once in a while!

Good News To Share

So I'm sitting at a stop light in a little place called Phoebus.  The phone rings and its a Richmond area number.  The person on the other is the Director of Admissions of the School I applied to.  After exchanging pleasantries, she congratulates me on my acceptance to the MTS program!  Needles to say I am very pleased and relieved! 

This morning I took the next step and filled in the confirmation form for my acceptance and paid the fee, (which will be applied to my tuition)  so its official!!!

Next I will make an appointment with the Admissions office to go and map out my degree plan and financing.  There will be a written plan to follow, I will be attending on a part time basis.  Since I am in ministry. From what I understand a new schedule is in the works, one that is more friendly to people in my position. They call it a hybrid schedule, which includes online and an on campus class schedule which allows the student to come to campus one day a week and take  classes they need.

The only wrinkle in my plan is they do not allow clinical classes in the program I have been accepted to..  However, I am looking at what closely related classes can be taken as electives.  My Clinical Pastoral Education Units will not transfer, which is actually better since the Association of Professional Chaplains would not count them toward certification. 

Perhaps when they retool the Master of Divinity, I may re-visit that degree program so I can add clinical courses.  For now I am happy with the direction things in my life are taking. 

Happy Easter 2013!!!

The Scripture tells us the disciples had a greeting, it went like this...

HE IS RISEN! to which the response would be...HE IS RISEN INDEED!

Today is a busy day in my life, I am working, I will be rounding at one facility and on call for another facility.  In all honesty, I am not looking forward to running back and forth all day. Then again there may not be any calls... just maybe. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Signs of Spring and a Trip to Richmond

Yesterday I was in Richmond for a few hours, and to my amazement, there was snow on the ground!  On Sunday/Monday we had rain, Richmond had three inches of snow.  It was odd seeing blooming trees, and bulbs with the white stuff on the ground.  I wish now I had the presence of my mind to take a few pictures. Alas and the blossoms I did not.  as I drove there and back, I noted the bird songs I heard, and the blossoms I saw.  Forsythia, crab apple, pear, daffodil, hyacinth to mention a few.  I look forward to seeing the azalea and dogwood blossom.

My mind was on my purpose for being in Richmond.  An interview with the Admissions Director of  graduate program I have applied for. it went well I think.  The next step is for my application package to go before the admissions committee. I do not anticipate any issues at this point.  Some exciting news is they are retooling the Master of Divinity program, pending Association of Theological Schools approval.  I may take another look at that program in the next year.  For now I'm sticking with my application for the Master of Theological Studies degree. My interviewer is suggesting I need to have a conversation with the dean concerning transfer of my Clinical Pastoral Education Units into academic credits, especially if I transfer into the new M.Div.  I will pursue this, and I hope most if not all of the credits I have will transfer into my program. 
   
First though is the official  acceptance into the program must be attained. .


 

So There Is A New Pope!

Though I am not Catholic,  I watched with interest for the selection of the new Pope. So now the selection has been made, Pope Francis is set to be officially installed next week. I like the name he selected for himself, Francis, obviously a nod to St Francis of Assisi.  I wonder what kind of leader he will turn out to be? How will the trappings of his office and power impact him as time goes by?  Well only time will tell.

He is the first Pope from this hemisphere! That is a good change, from Argentina, South America, I am told this area of the world has forty percent of the Catholics in the church.  I also understand the part of the world he is from holds to a liberation theology.  I wonder if or how that will carry over to his Papacy?    Again time will tell. 

Pope Francis is conservative, traditional which does not surprise me.  This means we will not see any movement on LGBT issues, female Priests, or other social issues. In Fact I read in Jeremy's blog,  My Side of the Street, his post  title New Pope Francis believes same-sex marriage and gay adoption are the Devil’s work, where the new Pope has made anti LGBT comments in the past.  I do not expect this to change.

So no surprise it will be the status quo. yet there maybe changes in other ways on other issues. As stated before only time will tell!

A Reason To Celebrate!

Next week I begin a new position with one of the hospitals I work for.  I will have a change in my classification.  Which means guaranteed hours per pay period,  benefits. I will stay non exempt which is good since I will still have shift differential,  holiday pay when I work a holiday, and overtime.  (not that they allow overtime) Did I mention benefits?  Something I really need!

Most of my hours will be at the hub Hospital, but I will still work a shift hour at the smallest Hospital in our system.  This will give me more hours, and I will still work flex-pool for the other health system. I may need to reevaluate that but I like the idea of keeping my foot in the door there. 

This has been a long time in coming.  I am relieved, and very pleased! Next I have an interview for admission to the Master of Theology program I have applied to. I hope to start this in the summer, and that most of my credits will transfer. However, I have discovered my Clinical courses will not transfer which is a disappointment. Also I may not be able to take the pastoral counseling courses I want for my electives in this program.  Though it maybe allowed, I hope!  So if you pray please pray for that to be allowed. its part of the reason I chose this school and degree.

I want to celebrate!

Self Acceptance or Self Hate.

There are a number blogs I follow, some publicly, a few privately. Usually, there is something in particular in the blog that draws me to keep checking and reading, sometimes commenting. A few I check and read daily.  There is one I read today which struck a chord in me, I want to highlight here. Its Rick Modien at This Gay Relationship.  He writes about his relationship with his husband of twenty plus years. In the post "Do The Work Now", he makes the point that until a gay person, comes to the place where he or she "learns to understand, accept, and love"  him or herself  how can  one accept and love that special someone?  Indeed this is true for anyone, straight or gay.

Rick has hit the nail on the head with this comment in his post. This is so important, somehow, some way there is a path to understanding and loving oneself as a gay person.  Otherwise, I think we can sabotage our relationships.   Self loathing only leads to self destructive behaviors, and destroys loving relationships

I recall when I finally came to the place where I found peace with my sexuality.  It was such a huge relief to me, I blogged about it here in a series of posts in 2008, then updated in 2010.  Yet the work continues. I don't think it is something that is ever complete, because I believe we evolve and grow.  Speaking for myself, I know its something I need to keep working on and growing.  For others it maybe something you need to grow through. 

The work is often not easy, otherwise it would not be called work!  How do you start?  One step at a time, one issue at a time find your path.    I encourage you as Rick says in his blog "do the work"

The Pope to Resign!

Yesterday's news, but I had to comment.  I am not Catholic, but as a Protestant who knows many who are Catholic, this is really big news.  The first time in 600 years a Pope who is resigning. It has taken the world by surprise!

 

 

My hope for the next Pope as a Protestant, gay man.

 

I hope the next Pope is more progressive than any there has been in decades.

I hope the next Pope is able to at least crack the door to making the Catholic church more open, accepting, and affirming of the LBGT community.

I hope the next Pope is open to discussing allowing Priests to marry.

I hope the next Pope is open to discussing Women as Priests. 

I hope the next Pope is from Canada or the U.S.A.

One can only HOPE!

 

Oh and apparently the picture above is indeed real! Ponder that one!

 

It's A Date!

Last night I had a dinner date!  With a guy who responded to an ad I placed on Craigslist.  We had been exchanging emails, then texts and phone conversations.  We met at Ruby Tuesday for a nice meal and conversation.  I think it went well...so why am I not more enthusiastic? 

Well I had the feeling he was not that comfortable, in our conversation he revealed that he is a preachers kid. So I felt comfortable telling him what I do for my living.  He did not appear freaked out, which is a big positive.  We had talked about our hope of finding someone special to be in our lives.  So we decided to explore the possibilities. He is 35, and a bookkeeper, has an established life, never been married. His father Pastor's a church locally. Thing is he made the statement that he wants a boyfriend on the "DL", I understand not being out to his family in his situation, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the whole DL thing. I need to talk with him further about this.  He said he is not out, which I understand.

I guess my concern is, I spent so much of my life uncomfortable with my sexuality, that I'm not sure I want a relationship that reminds me of those days; Or puts me back in the closet in anyway.  Not that I want the world to know, its not their business any way.  My impression is he does not want me around, if anyone he knows is nearby.  I don't want to close the door on him, so I will be available to explore the possibilities, ask my questions and discuss the issues.

The Master of Theological Studies

Well I have spent time reading degree programs online, trying to find a degree I can do online. I found two programs that offered most of what I need and want. I decided to work on the application for a Master of Theological Studies.  The school is a two hour drive from here, but offers online options for study. This school is a Baptist School but affiliated with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, and Alliance of Baptists.  Both groups are more moderate and promote equality for sexual orientation. I checked the Mission Statement and Covenant, the Student Handbook and saw nothing that concerned me...at least thus far.  The application requires 2 references, I have not seen anything about church endorsement.  It also requires a 1000 word essay answering questions about what the degree will help me accomplish, and why I chose this school. An interview with faculty is also required. Something I like about this particular program is it offers 3 elective course opportunities. There is a course elective that is a Pastoral Counseling Practicum I would love to take, it offers a course in crisis intervention as well. Those would be two practical electives.  One thing I don't like is the Biblical Language requirement, at least it just requires one language in a  two course sequence. However, it will be to my advantage for any further work I might wish to do. Still I would prefer to use those hours toward pastoral counseling or theology. Unfortunately, I am told my Clinical Pastoral Education will not transfer into this program.  Below is the breakdown of courses

One of the following two course language sequence in the Biblical studies area:

MAB1121 introduction to Biblical Hebrew I

MAB1122 introduction to Biblical Hebrew Il or

MAB1521 New Testament Greek I

MAB1522 New Testament Greek ll

Required courses in the Biblical Studies area:

MAB1111 lntroduction to the Old Testament I

MAB1112 lntroduction to the Old Testament ll

MAB1511 lntroduction to the New Testament I

MAB1512 lntroduction to the New Testament ll

Required courses in the Historical/Theological Studies area:

MAHT2111 lntroduction to the Christian Tradition I

MAHT2112 lntroduction to the Christian Tradition ll

MAHT2311 Christian Theology I

MAHT2312 Chriistian Theology ll

MAHT2410 lntroduction to Christian Ethics

MAHT2650 World Religions 

One the following courses in the Biblical studies or Historical/Theological area:

MAB1070 Models of Biblical lnterpretation

MAB1OSO Topics of Biblical interpretation

MAB1091 Biblical lnterpretation in the Church

MAHT2312 Theology of the Church

MAHT2411 Christianity and Culture

MAHI2622 Perspectives on Global Christian Movements

MAHT2652 Jesus in a Pluralistic Age

Three Elective or specialization courses from the M.T,S. program options:

MAXXXX Electives

MA4090/99 Thesis or Comprehensive Exam

Total semester hours required for degree program completion: 51 semester hours. With what I have that will transfer in should bring my required courses to I hope 14.  This looks like a good program.

Tuesday Rambles: Career Thoughts

I continue to consider my future, completing my degree, and work as a Chaplain. I completed two online career assessment tools, which provided similar results.  I am best suited for a helping profession such as Social Service, ie counseling, religious support, or a teaching career.  I found it interesting I scored high on administration, high on persuasive skills, high on intuitiveness amongst others. It has helped to know I am a track that is good for me. Just have to find the right fit in job and education. I am not second guessing my call, or gifting, but I am questioning the direction for my future.  I may do an online spiritual gift test as well and see if that has changed any, also how it compares with the career assessment.  I am looking at other types of work in  counseling, aftercare in a funeral home setting, or even some type of teaching position.

I have done a little online research into schools and their degrees.  I am looking at more moderate to liberal seminaries including a few in my state. One thing is clear, whichever I choose, it will be at a significantly higher cost.  I will consider it the financial cost of being true to myself and the one I believe in. Specific degrees I am considering are...

Master of Theological Studies, two programs I like, one is 52 credit hours, the other is 60 credit hours.  Both require one Biblical language (2 courses), which I am not crazy about, I would rather take a pastoral counseling or pastoral  theology course with those hours.

There is an Master of Christian Leadership at one of the schools, which is 52 credit hours that might meet my need. Another school has a Master of Religious Education (60 credit hours) it can be done on a Friday/Saturday format.  Each of these would give me the credits I need for Certification on the Associate level with the Association of Professional Chaplains. As well as say I hold a Master degree.  Which is a good place to start.

I am not considering a 90 some credit Master of Divinity, since I am already ordained. Also under consideration is some type of counseling degree that would give me a credential toward pastoral as well as bereavement counseling. Originally I was thinking of just adding on courses as continuing education. Or toward the additional credits I need for full Board Certification. This is quite a process.

Looking back I do so wish I had the strength and self awareness to come out when I was young.  I would have had more time making these career decisions! However, I have to believe things come about in life on God's time not my time.

Come out Come Out Where ever You Are!!

In honor of National Coming out Day, Won't you take the bold freeing step out and be yourself?  Know YOUR truth...Claim your Voice!

At least acknowledge it to yourself for yourself that is a first step.  John 8:32 "You shall know the TRUTH and the truth shall set you FREE" 

Choose wisely who you acknowledge this too. Not everyone will be accepting. Those who truly love you will accept you.

The most important thing is to be YOU. be comfortable in your own skin, find peace. 

I found peace when I accepted me the way God made me!

Open that door let the light shine in.

A link to It Gets better . org

http://www.itgetsbetter.org/video/

Hate Mail...Really?

From the beginning of my very first blog post I knew I might draw negative comments from time to time.  Which I have, and I do not post those unless it adds something to think about. Its one thing to disagree, express your opinion, but totally another to be disagreeable and express hatred.  Those kinds of comments are always deleted, never posted. Especially when its from an anonymous source!  If your going to leave a hateful comment at least have the guts (I really wanna say balls) to own your words.   Sometimes its an email, I do not respond to these as there is no room for dialogue. It would accomplish nothing. 

The series of posts on relationships I just completed, has elicited a few responses mostly positive emails, but a couple of negative and down right hateful comments. Now I welcome all comments, I enjoy the dialogue with people.  Sometimes I hear a viewpoint that helps me greatly or at least gives me something to think about.   I draw the line at hate mail, I will not listen to or dignify with a response someone calling me or people who might read this blog names, and telling me I am cursed. Or that I need to repent, and receive healing, seek "re-parative therapy".    One asked how someone like me can do the work I do without bringing condemnation to everyone I meet. There is no room in my life for hate. These from folk who call themselves christian. I won't judge you as you have judged me. God is our judge, and I resist the urge to preach at you through this blog, but I ask you how is that bearing fruit for the Lord and making a difference in a life? How is that edifying? The Scripture says "you shall know them by their LOVE"

My relationship posts talk about love, its often a thread of commonality that runs through the kinds of relationships I spoke about.  Love is created by God, God is love, not hate.

Well enough said about this, I could write more but I will save that for my journal.  I like my posts to be about positive things or at least how I'm dealing with negative aspects of this life.

Again I welcome your comments and emails, I enjoy the dialogue.  If you have some positive insight or a question please submit a comment or email.