Its Sunday

Its Sunday, and I did not go to church this morning.  So often I work on Sunday, so when I am off I try to go.  But today I did not, no particular reason.  I am reading, praying, and listening to Christian/worship music.  Guess I am feeling a little blah and did not want to get ready and go.

I discovered something very interesting on the Gay Church site.  The church I was baptized in, a Baptist church in northern Virginia, is now American Baptist, and part of the Alliance of Baptists.  It is listed on Gay Church.com as an open and affirming church.  On the church webpage, they identify as welcoming, and affirming. Makes me wish I could attend there again. 

Its a gorgeous day so I'm going to get out in it some today.  Hope you have an awesome Sunday.  

A Free Saturday

Well for a change I have not just a Saturday, but a weekend off!  I am glad, and resting.  However, I have worked straight through since Thursday a week.  With the exception of last Monday where I came home early.  It was a busy week, and last night I was on call but there were no calls! My diet is going well for the most part, but I tend to cheat from time to time.  I am trying allow myself a full sugar dessert once a month, that I enjoy.  However, my tastes have changed, and I don't enjoy it like I used to.  A waste of carbs and calories if I don't enjoy it!  So my next sweet day will be Easter, I am going to try and pick something I know I will enjoy.  But that day I plan on having and and a small bake potato. 

Yesterday, I was in the gift shop and picked up a book titled "A Guide for the Christian Counselor" as I thumbed through it, I noticed the section on Homosexuality.  It was disappointing to me, but I was not surprised.  It used all the standard Scriptures that condemn the homosexual.  It made me feel a bit unsecure, but I went back through my struggle and reminded myself of the conclusions God gave me that led me to accept myself as a gay man.  The "counseling" guide makes the assumption being gay is a choice.  That is a wrong assumption.  Enough said.

Well off to enjoy my weekend!

A Word For Wednesday!

Instead of posting a Wordless Wednesday, I decided to post a few words instead. As of last night, I completed my first course and semester at this new Seminary.  So that's 1 out of 19 courses, not including courses I am transferring in.  I am relieved it is done, I stressed over my paper and final exam, but I think  I did well.  The Professor has a brilliant mind, the way he explained complex philosophical terms and ideas!  He challenged me to think and express what I think, not what the author.  The only problem I had was every-time I  tried to read the text book, I ended up falling asleep,  even sitting at the table!

So now I can begin my celebration of Advent, Christmas, and New Year.  No solid plans yet, i do want to go to the Botanical Garden light show, I want to attend a play, I hope to go to Christmas Town this year.  I plan on doing some baking too.  Yummy

Of course there is shopping to do, got to make my list.

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday This and That

As I sit here doing my morning computer tasks, I am listening to the President speak on the devastation of the tornado's.  I can not begin to imagine what it must be like to lose everything like that.  I know the fear weather can cause, where I live is prone to hurricanes, which can be devastating as well.  Still I cannot imagine losing a home, and possessions' to such a storm.  Everyone in the path of these storms, who have been or will be impacted are in my prayers. For practical ways to help visit the Red Cross web page. Also keep in prayer those who respond to help that they be strengthened, and enabled to provide the help needed.

A few days ago, I received an offer of a debit card, and a proposal to promote the card on this blog. It was a card that donates to marriage equality, and LGBT issues.   I gave it some thought at least briefly, but decided that was not something I wanted to do with this blog.  I write here to share my journey, to put forth  my own agendas not someone else's agenda.  So no $25 for me, no promotion here.

Seminary update, I am in the process of selecting my classes for next year. I have enough cash squirreled away to pay for one class. So I think it will be on campus Old Testament for the fall. I may continue with the second half of OT in the Winter Term or perhaps an online class since I won't have to travel. I am looking forward to this portion of my journey.

Once the weather is more stable on a day I have time to get out and work in the patio "garden" I will have some pictures to share. I have taken a few already but will share those at that time as well.  I do miss a yard to putter around in.
Stay tuned! 

 

It's A Date!

Last night I had a dinner date!  With a guy who responded to an ad I placed on Craigslist.  We had been exchanging emails, then texts and phone conversations.  We met at Ruby Tuesday for a nice meal and conversation.  I think it went well...so why am I not more enthusiastic? 

Well I had the feeling he was not that comfortable, in our conversation he revealed that he is a preachers kid. So I felt comfortable telling him what I do for my living.  He did not appear freaked out, which is a big positive.  We had talked about our hope of finding someone special to be in our lives.  So we decided to explore the possibilities. He is 35, and a bookkeeper, has an established life, never been married. His father Pastor's a church locally. Thing is he made the statement that he wants a boyfriend on the "DL", I understand not being out to his family in his situation, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the whole DL thing. I need to talk with him further about this.  He said he is not out, which I understand.

I guess my concern is, I spent so much of my life uncomfortable with my sexuality, that I'm not sure I want a relationship that reminds me of those days; Or puts me back in the closet in anyway.  Not that I want the world to know, its not their business any way.  My impression is he does not want me around, if anyone he knows is nearby.  I don't want to close the door on him, so I will be available to explore the possibilities, ask my questions and discuss the issues.

The Master of Theological Studies

Well I have spent time reading degree programs online, trying to find a degree I can do online. I found two programs that offered most of what I need and want. I decided to work on the application for a Master of Theological Studies.  The school is a two hour drive from here, but offers online options for study. This school is a Baptist School but affiliated with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, and Alliance of Baptists.  Both groups are more moderate and promote equality for sexual orientation. I checked the Mission Statement and Covenant, the Student Handbook and saw nothing that concerned me...at least thus far.  The application requires 2 references, I have not seen anything about church endorsement.  It also requires a 1000 word essay answering questions about what the degree will help me accomplish, and why I chose this school. An interview with faculty is also required. Something I like about this particular program is it offers 3 elective course opportunities. There is a course elective that is a Pastoral Counseling Practicum I would love to take, it offers a course in crisis intervention as well. Those would be two practical electives.  One thing I don't like is the Biblical Language requirement, at least it just requires one language in a  two course sequence. However, it will be to my advantage for any further work I might wish to do. Still I would prefer to use those hours toward pastoral counseling or theology. Unfortunately, I am told my Clinical Pastoral Education will not transfer into this program.  Below is the breakdown of courses

One of the following two course language sequence in the Biblical studies area:

MAB1121 introduction to Biblical Hebrew I

MAB1122 introduction to Biblical Hebrew Il or

MAB1521 New Testament Greek I

MAB1522 New Testament Greek ll

Required courses in the Biblical Studies area:

MAB1111 lntroduction to the Old Testament I

MAB1112 lntroduction to the Old Testament ll

MAB1511 lntroduction to the New Testament I

MAB1512 lntroduction to the New Testament ll

Required courses in the Historical/Theological Studies area:

MAHT2111 lntroduction to the Christian Tradition I

MAHT2112 lntroduction to the Christian Tradition ll

MAHT2311 Christian Theology I

MAHT2312 Chriistian Theology ll

MAHT2410 lntroduction to Christian Ethics

MAHT2650 World Religions 

One the following courses in the Biblical studies or Historical/Theological area:

MAB1070 Models of Biblical lnterpretation

MAB1OSO Topics of Biblical interpretation

MAB1091 Biblical lnterpretation in the Church

MAHT2312 Theology of the Church

MAHT2411 Christianity and Culture

MAHI2622 Perspectives on Global Christian Movements

MAHT2652 Jesus in a Pluralistic Age

Three Elective or specialization courses from the M.T,S. program options:

MAXXXX Electives

MA4090/99 Thesis or Comprehensive Exam

Total semester hours required for degree program completion: 51 semester hours. With what I have that will transfer in should bring my required courses to I hope 14.  This looks like a good program.

The Wrong Question to Ask!

Several days ago I made mentions of a problem with my planned application for graduate study.  Well here are the details...I found an online degree program that had everything I was looking for. it was affordable too. I even discovered my employer provides $2500 a year in tuition reimbursement for my job classification! So I was all set to apply, reading through the online application, I discovered a problem.  There are a series of questions, petty standard like have you been convicted of a felony, are you a citizen, then the question I just do not like or want to answer.  In fact I will not answer, and will not be applying to this school or other schools that ask this question.

The question;  Have you EVER engaged in Heterosexual misconduct or Homosexual behavior? i.e. engage in sex, going to gay clubs, gay chat rooms, talked about gay issues, basically are you a homosexual?  Say what??  Let that one sink in a minute....  and I thought don't ask don't tell was alive and well in the church.  Not the SBC.

Now it crossed my mind to answer the question with a NO.  However, that would be putting myself back in the closet, it would be a lie and counter productive.  Now I also thought about saying yes, but this also would be counter productive.  I am certain it would disqualify my admission and could get back to my home church.  I do not want to confirm any one's suspicions.  Then also I don't think its any one's business what my sexual preference is.

Not only do they basically ask about one's sexuality, to out oneself, they couple it with a misconduct question!  That's the SBC for you. They firmly believe people like me are hell bound, regardless!  Not gonna move them on that one either.  I checked another SBC seminary and it had the same series of questions.  I am disappointed at this, but not going to let it stop me.  I will find a school where its not important. 

A friend sent me a link to United Church of Christ seminaries, since they are open and affirming. I'm looking at them, along with a couple of more liberal seminaries here in my state. Two offer a combination of online and on campus options. The Online option is important to me.

Anyone have any suggestions?  I will continue this discussion in future posts. 

 

My Theology: Born this way

The question I wanted an answer for, that I sought to understand is; where does homosexuality come from? Is it a choice? Is it learned? Or is it something more basic like in the DNA that makes us?

First, I can say without any doubt in my mind and heart that homosexuality in NOT a choice. Think of it, who would choose to be someone that is discriminated against? That is thought of by many as “contrary to nature”? Who would choose not to have the right to marry the one he or she loves? In many sectors of society be looked down upon? Who? Plus if there were a choice one could choose not to, and change. There is scientific data which I am told shows same sex attraction is not learned or chosen. It is in one’s make up. It’s a chromosome gene.

Why? What is the purpose? That is a question for which I have no answer other than through the eyes of my faith to say… the Sovereignty of God. It’s a God thing.

Two places in the Old Testament come to mind when thinking of this. First, Jeremiah 1:5a which states “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. And before you were born I consecrated you” Not trying to be out of context, I must note this is referring to Jeremiah’s call to ministry. However, it also shows us how God the father knows us and he is active in our creation. In forming us; and knowing us.

Further, Psalm 139 in its entirety. The first portion talks about God’s knowledge of us, verse 1, “Lord you have searched me and known me” verse 2b, “You understand my thoughts from afar” The in verse 3 “You are intimately acquainted with all my ways” Wow! The passage goes on to describe how God knows us, there is no place on earth we can go to escape the gaze of God or his knowledge of us.

In verse 13 the Psalmist writes, “For you formed inmost parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb.” This is the most compelling point for me when the scripture states that the God of the universe formed my inmost parts, wove me. Couple that with the verse from Jeremiah, and I understand better. God formed, made, molded my inmost parts would include my DNA, the chromosome gene, my personality, my gifting and ability, and my sexuality. In his Sovereign knowledge of me God knew from the very beginning I would be gay. He placed the substance there in me that would make me who I am.

To say God the father would not do that or could not do that is to say God the father is not as is Sovereign as we say he is. I believe by faith that God created me gay, that I was born to be a Christian gay and consecrated from the womb to the work I do. Gay or straight, I believe the same is true for you too.

Open and Affirming Churches

I have been looking around the internet for denominations and specific churches that are gay open and affirming. A very good resource is a web site http://www.gaychurch.org/. It lists churches of all sorts in every state. Unfortunately in my area there are very few to choose from. I visited two in the past. The worship styles were very different, even from what I'm used to. There is an MCC locally I have yet to visit.

Some inclusive Denominations I am aware of are

United Church of Christ, however its up to each local congregation to decide if they are inclusive or not. There are 10 or so in my area but only two advertise themselves as open and affirming.

Disciples of Christ, a very open denomination, I like them, and considering them.

Metropolitan Community Church, A denomination started to reach out to the LGTB community. It also attracts a number of straight people as well. Not sure if the National Council of Churches recognizes them... they should.

The Episcopal Church in USA has made great strides in being more inclusive. This year with the church position on ordaining Bishops who are gay. There are parish Priests who live openly.

The Lutheran Church is working toward being more inclusive officially, there are individual Parishes who are very inclusive, of their clergy as well.

I found a website for Baptist Churches, http://www.rainbowbaptists.org/ This amazes and pleases me to know there are Baptists out there that are this progressive, but there none in my area. Some churches in every denomination have moved toward inclusiveness, The Presbyterian church is a good example of this.

These are a few that I am aware of. Are there others? I will continue to look for a a church home I can be open in and with.

Same Sex Attraction Disorder???

Today I was watching an episode of Boston Legal, one of my favorite shows. One of the judges on the show was "diagnosed' by his minister as having SSAD, or Same Sex attraction disorder. I looked it up on the Internet and there is such a thing being purported. Nothing new I guess. It is not a medical term however, but a religious one. Its some groups way of explaining being gay as a spiritual decease, that can be overcome by prayer and discipline. Repairitive therapy I think they call it.

One point I have read in my research, that was mentioned in a court scene that in the 70's the American Psychological association does not consider homosexuality a disorder, or a choice.

As for me, nothing can change you from being who God wove you in your mother's womb to be. why is homosexuality so hated? even by the church who is supposed to represent God and His love? Something I guess I'll never understand. just like Homosexuality, I'll never understand it, but I must accept it.

Something I like about BL, they do make some good comments on social issues and current events that make good sense.