Changing the plan?

Well I am considering a change in direction for my life. This would be a big step for me, still a ministry but not necessarily in professional ministry. I have always had an interest in counseling, and I do quite a bit of it in my current role. Often in the form of Bereavement Crisis Intervention or spiritual life issues. You may remember from previous posts that I have been thinking of this for a while

I am looking at a program at a local university that is a graduate degree in school counseling. Its a 39 credit hour degree that would require a 400 hour internship. It would lead to state a license as a school counselor. A position that is needed in every school. Its not an easy job, but the impact can be great I think.

Now I am not abandoning my theological education or my call to ministry, however, I doubt I will complete the M.Div. Rather I am looking into various theological degrees that are shorter and perhaps geared towards pastoral counseling and chaplaincy. Not too many around really. There is a school in Northern Virginia that offers an MTS with one of the concentrations being chaplaincy. The only real stumbling block to it right now is the GRE. I just don't want to take the time it will require to prepare for the test. If that is the program the Lord leads me to then I'll do the preparation. I really would like the second degree to be theological, pastoral theology, ethics, pastoral care and have theology in its title. IE Master of Theological Studies or Master of Theology.

Please pray for me to have the wisdom to know the direction I am to go in for both my education and a job I need right now. I thank you for reading and praying.

PRIDE

Well I did it! I attended my first Pride event today. not sure what i was expecting but it was nice. Rather mild I thought, no protests or anything like that. Its called Out in the Park. There were a lot of booths representing every area gay organization. There is support to start a Community Center in the area. I think that is a great idea! I went to the after party at the club I go to. It was packed!

While at the event I stopped by the MCC booth and picked up a bunch of information.

Well my first pride event went well, I was comfortable there. for me another way of expressing my sexuality. If people have a problem with that, well its there problem not mine. In fact that was said from the stage by the leader of the local drag community. she made the statement if you are here and have a problem with us its your problem not ours. We are here to be a community, we are part of the community, and in the community. In fact we are everywhere in the community!

Well i hope you had a good weekend and a good week ahead.

The election is weeks away now. I am more convinced than ever that Obama is the one to vote for. Both from a gay perspective but also for economic concerns, I feel there needs to be a change. Republican and McCain is not the change I am looking for.

Thoughts on the economy....

1. Stock market, short term losses are deep, The long view is most important right now. In the years ahead the market will rebound and again do well. Remember longview, sit tight.

2. Retirement, again the longview. For me I have decided to move my Roth from stocks to money market bank Roth IRA that is FDIC insured. The prinicple is not subject to the market losses. It wont make that much interest but it will be tax exempt and part of my total portfolio. I will diversify a little more by doing this. I still have a 401k type that is heavy into stocks and bonds.

3. Debt is a struggle to deal with, Debt is both a boost and a drag on the economy both at large and individually.

4. God's economy, I am determined to live in God's economy, not the world's. By this I mean knowing that God is my provider, not my employer, its God who is in control of my paycheck. The offering (tythe) is God's. That is so difficult to practice at times of short cash flow. I keep reminding myself that God is in control. My giving is changing, until I have a gay affirming church to call home, I will give to the cause of Christ through my church of record, and several other ministries some of which are gay focused. my God given resources should help support the community I am a part of and hopefully show Christ to one who needs to know and to meet a need.

As always if you read my blog, I welcome your thoughts, concerns, and prayers.

Unofficial Poll

Is there someone for each one of us to fall in love with and be fallen in love by? Some one that is meant for you and me? My best friend says there is, I am not sure. I am in love with him have been for years. I believe he is the one for me, yet he does not have the "same" feelings for me. Although sometimes I wonder about that.

I ask you, what is your opinion on this?

 

What a Week!

What a week this has been! Its Saturday and I have so many things on my list to do. get to the gym being one of them, oil change, a little shopping. I worked yesterday til 9 pm and did not go out last night. I slept well but got up much later than I wanted to. I have accomplished some little things around here but none of the big stuff. It seems all I want to do is just sit and stare at the walls my mind in neutral, or nod off. I am headed to see my mother tomorrow for her birthday. I am looking forward to it as my sister will be there too. This week I learned my half sister who was 86 died on Wednesday. For those of you doing the math, its a long story. Anyway we were not close, and she lived in Colorado. Still she was the last of that part of my family. I still have one half brother who is 72. Well nuff of that. The weekend will be nice and relaxing I look forward to seeing my mother.

Gay marriage has been approved by the Connecticut supreme court! Very good, a step forward I hope. Perhaps one day.......

Today I am thinking about the future. What does the future hold for our world? Deep question? The answer is simple..time will tell. The Scripture is clear that we should not worry, yet I find myself at times worried. Consider Jesus' words in Matt 7, "who by worry can add a single cubit to his life?" "let the days own trouble be sufficient for the day" Further I think of the pastoral epistles where it talks about the future, making our plans, without considering God or his will for our lives. I don't want to do that either. In Philipians 4:6-7 has the further direction about worry, "Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be known to God. The peace of God which surpasses comprehension will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus" Can it be any clearer? I just had to remind myself of that!

I had my annual evaluation at the Hospital this week. It was good and positive. Until we got to talk about where I am in my Master's program. Ugh! so Frustrating! The requirement for full time and most part time work in chaplaincy is the M. Div, plus 4 units of CPE and certification, no a real problem. Until you consider many of the jobs available are part time, many without benefits. Unless your able to be a department head or CPE supervisor. Most of the part time jobs want the M.div and certification. Plus I am still concerned about professional ministry and all it means to be living life as a gay man. That has held me back from completing my degree. A frustration... a worry.

I really want to have counseling as part of my background and be able to counsel as part of my ministry. Therefore I am considering putting the M.Div on hold and working on a shorter MA in counseling. Either community or school counseling. It would give me more opportunities I feel. opportunities to minister and both settings. I need to be able to use my gifts in either area.

So I am exploring the possibilities.

Employment Issues

Employment issues! For some time now I have been looking for a new job. Both in chaplaincy and secular. Mostly human services type jobs. I was on the short list for a job, but the company instituted a hiring freeze. My hours at the Hospital have been cut. I am getting 1 maybe 2 10 hour days a payperiod. The rest of the time I am on call. The only thing is, right now I am authorized to go in only when there has been a death. The hardest thing I ever had to do is tell a nurse "no I can not come in" when I was paged for a an ICU patient in crisis with hysterical family at bedside. Everything in me wanted to go in anyway. I hope the powers that be will change the rules and allow us to go in for codes and crisis as well. Something for a faithbased health system! They have their eyes off of the mission of Holistic care and on MONEY, the bottom line. Yes I am pissed.

I hope and pray to find more stable employment, something that challenges me, something that will meet my needs help provide for completing my master's. actually this maybe the Lord leading to something new. Something I have also been praying about. You see there is within me a discomfort with being in ministry and being involved in some of the activities that comes from living out my gay experience. Working out what it means for me to be gay. I donot want to be alone and celibate. Which I feel is normal for a gay man. It could lead me to the one for me.

Happy October This and That

Yes I am still around. If your a regular reader thanks, sorry I have not posted. nothing really on my mind to write...well yes there is a lot on my mind but finding the words right now is tough for some reason.

I love October, fall is my favorite time, halloween, thanksgiving then Christmas! Autumn colors, cooler tempts but oh my allergies!, oh my flu shot! AHHH good sleeping weather. Long walks. church fairs. The food!!! Even icecream LOL

I am giving thought to going to the local pride event. It would be my first "outing" like this. Although for me it might be too out, too local. Its called Out in the Park. Not sure what I am going to do. Depends if any of my close friends are going, safety in numbers kind of thing.

Oh the election! someone sent me this video I am placing a link here. There is a part of this where he answers a question about gay marriage.

John McCain vs. John McCain: Tell McCain to get off the Double Talk Express.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioy90nF2anI

Y'all have a good night