Showing posts with label boyfriends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boyfriends. Show all posts

Monday, August 19, 2013

New Jersey Law!!

There are now two states which have enacted laws banning gay conversion therapy for children. California being the first state to pass such a law.  Its a good thing to protect children, plus the reality is this therapy does more harm than anything and never truly changes anyone. In fact, there is a higher instance depression, and suicide among teens in this kind of therapy.  To tell you, at one time early in my coming out, I looked into this kind of therapy.  I am so glad I decided against it! 

Several significant points I want to make about this New Jersey law are the fact this law was signed by a Republican Governor.  Not only that but Chris Christie attached a note saying he believed people are born gay.  That homosexuality is not the sin it is purported to be by mainstream Christianity.  What a break from his party! What a break with his Catholic background. Perhaps a smart move if you want to run for President? This is a significant event!

Now I hope more states enact similar laws protecting children from this kind of "therapy" or what I consider abuse.  This is progress!
 

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

To LOVE "Tis A Fearful Thing

 
 
 
'Tis A Fearful Thing

'Tis a fearful thing

To love

What death can touch.

To love, to hope, to dream,

And oh, to lose.

A thing for fools, this,

Love,

But a holy thing,

To love what death can touch.

For your life has lived in me;

Your laugh once lifted me;

Your word was a gift to me.

To remember this brings painful joy.

‘Tis a human thing, love,

A holy thing,

To love

What death can touch.

(To love is a precious thing FF2013)

Judah Halevi, 11th C., Spain

Poet, Philosopher, Physician 

 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A Call One Night

One evening I was called to the Emergency Room at one of the Hospitals I serve.  It was for a patient who was involved in what is called Intimate Partner Violence. (IVP) This patient was very emotional, and would not talk about his experience, including cooperating with the Police.   They thought the Chaplain could help him calm down and bring comfort.  Instead, the thought of the Chaplain's presence made him nervous. I almost did not speak with him because of his nervousness.   That is until he actually met  me and we started talking, I was able to put him at ease. 

He said he was afraid the Chaplain would judge him and his lifestyle as a gay man.  Would lay the blame for his IVP situation on him. He said when he saw me and began to talk with me he felt I was different from his experience with "religious people"  HOW SAD that is. What a shame.   Instead of bringing comfort, the experience is judgment and hate.

At least there was a different experience for this patient. I'm thankful fro being enabled to be in the right place at the right time...a divine appointment?

Friday, July 12, 2013

Scoped Out

Yesterday I was in the grocery store, in a hurry as usual.  As I walked in I noticed three guys together shopping. One had some kind of bag on his shoulder, they were looking at fruit.  I was in a hurry so I walked on by to the back of the store to do my shopping.  Several times in the store I found myself where one or more of these guys was shopping.

On the last row, it was just the four of us in the isle, the first two of them turned and said hello to me.  That is when the one with the shoulder bag crossed my path made eye contact with me, winked and said nice! Of course I returned the complement, which was an honest return since he was a nice looking guy. 

Then once I was in the check out line, the guy left his buddies in the other line and joined me in my line. We made small talk, I wish now I had asked for his number or offered him mine. After all that kind of thing rarely happens to me! Oh well, lost opportunity.  Maybe I will run into him again?

All the same its nice to be noticed!



 

Friday, March 22, 2013

Gay In The News

Another State has legalized Same Sex Civil Unions!  Thank you Colorado! This brings the number of States with some form of legalized Same Sex Unions to eighteen. The forms of approved Same Sex Unions are marriage, Civil Unions, Domestic Partnerships.  Its nice to know progress is being made on this front.  Though my preference is marriage, any movement toward same sex marriage is a positive development. 

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz has defended the company's support of same-sex marriage.
Mr. Schultz stated the decision to back marriage equality was not for economic reasons, but for "respecting diversity." a very good reason, I like companies who value diversity. 

Chik Fil A, an update according to various sources, the company no longer supports or lobbies against Marriage Equality.  I may reevaluate my avoiding this Chicken.

Here is a link to a Stephen Colbert comment piece on the challenge to DOMA.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/423360/january-30-2013/the-word---it-gets-worse

Happy Friday to All

Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Great Backyard Bird Count Amoung Other Things

Yes its true, I'm a birder.  That means I like to notice the different birds around, I love awaking in the morning to hear birds singing. Now I'm no expert at identifying the birds, just appreciating them and noticing different and unusual bird around.  The Apartment complex where I live has a lake, and lots of trees, its part of what attracted me here. It also attracts many birds and other wildlife.  The past few weeks I have noticed new geese at the lake.  I mean different and unusual color geese.  Plus I heard then saw Robins.  Spring is on its way!


Why did I talk about birds?  Well this weekend the 15th to the 18th is the Great Backyard Bird Count the Audubon Society spearheads each year.  They encourage participants to count as many different birds wherever they are as they can and report the numbers on their website.  Those numbers are tallied and used for research.

Interested?  Here is a link to their site.   http://www.birdsource.org/gbbc/howto.html  It can be fun!

Gay in the News.  This past week, France's National Assembly passed a bill in favor of Same Sex Marriage. The news report stated they expect the bill to be passed along in their National Senate and by signed into law.  Wow, first Great Britain now France! I am glad.

Work can be hard sometimes, last night I was called to a trauma death.  A  young victim of a motorcycle accident.  I do not like motorcycles, if there is an accident the rider loses.  What a tragedy a waste.



 

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Go With The Gut Feeling!

Well I did not go with my gut feeling and I should have. Several Posts ago, I talked about a date I had. I said then I did not think he was the one.  So I thought I would try and be friends with him.  After spending sometime with him, I knew this would not work.  He was too nervous, afraid someone would "know" we are gay. Everything to be secretive, it seemed.  I continued to text and call, trying to be a friend.  Then every time a plan was made, for a lunch or dinner, it was cancelled for one reason or another. So I got the message.

Next time I will remember to listen to my gut, something I learned to do in my work, I have to remember this in the off hours.  As the saying goes...NEXT! .

Friday, December 14, 2012

It's A Date!

Last night I had a dinner date!  With a guy who responded to an ad I placed on Craigslist.  We had been exchanging emails, then texts and phone conversations.  We met at Ruby Tuesday for a nice meal and conversation.  I think it went well...so why am I not more enthusiastic? 

Well I had the feeling he was not that comfortable, in our conversation he revealed that he is a preachers kid. So I felt comfortable telling him what I do for my living.  He did not appear freaked out, which is a big positive.  We had talked about our hope of finding someone special to be in our lives.  So we decided to explore the possibilities. He is 35, and a bookkeeper, has an established life, never been married. His father Pastor's a church locally. Thing is he made the statement that he wants a boyfriend on the "DL", I understand not being out to his family in his situation, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the whole DL thing. I need to talk with him further about this.  He said he is not out, which I understand.

I guess my concern is, I spent so much of my life uncomfortable with my sexuality, that I'm not sure I want a relationship that reminds me of those days; Or puts me back in the closet in anyway.  Not that I want the world to know, its not their business any way.  My impression is he does not want me around, if anyone he knows is nearby.  I don't want to close the door on him, so I will be available to explore the possibilities, ask my questions and discuss the issues.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Post Election 2012

Voting on the day. Well its all over! No more political ads!  Several things I want to sound off on about the election, first the long lines.  Knowing this is such an important election, plans should have been made to have more help at the polls, especially with checking voters in. Second, more voter machines would have helped as well. 

Now for the results.  I am very pleased that President Obama has been re-elected.  He most closely represents what I am looking for on tax and social issues especially.  I am pleased our state elected a democrat to Senate.  However, I am not pleased with the outcome of the House race, oh well I guess.  I had hoped for at least a closer split in the House, that the far right wing tea party people would have their wings clipped.  I feel they have contributed to the worsening gridlock we have in Congress. not sure how things will be in the near future, but time will tell.

It appears Virginia is now a 'Blue" state for the most part at least.

Gay Marriage:  Now the really big results for the Gay community!  Same Sex Marriage has been approved by popular vote referendum in two states!  I hope and think this represents changing in views of the general population. My roommate told me about an article he read where in the 90's many did not know a gay person, (reality check, they did not admit knowing a gay person)  In 2012 a large portion of the population says they have a gay friend or relative.  How times are changing, as Martha would say "Its a good thing" 

Lets keep our country, President, Congress and economy in our thoughts and prayers as they seek to lead and deal with issues we all face.

Friday, October 19, 2012

A Victory For Same Sex Marriage

When victories occur for the gay community its nice to pause and consider the implications.  I am referring to the NY Court decision declaring DOMA unconstitutional.  The difference with this decision is the fact that a federal judge appointed years ago by a conservative President, wrote basically the gay community has been and is being discriminated against.  That this law discriminates against a segment of american society which has rights under the constitution.  This is significant to for those of us who have the hope of one day being able to legally marry in this nation.
 
Will I see the day when same sex marriage is not rejected?  I don't know, but I have a glimmer of hope. Of course if I ever find one I want to marry, we could go to a state, or nation where our marriage is accepted. 
Sign me hopeful but realistic.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Hate Mail...Really?

From the beginning of my very first blog post I knew I might draw negative comments from time to time.  Which I have, and I do not post those unless it adds something to think about. Its one thing to disagree, express your opinion, but totally another to be disagreeable and express hatred.  Those kinds of comments are always deleted, never posted. Especially when its from an anonymous source!  If your going to leave a hateful comment at least have the guts (I really wanna say balls) to own your words.   Sometimes its an email, I do not respond to these as there is no room for dialogue. It would accomplish nothing. 

The series of posts on relationships I just completed, has elicited a few responses mostly positive emails, but a couple of negative and down right hateful comments. Now I welcome all comments, I enjoy the dialogue with people.  Sometimes I hear a viewpoint that helps me greatly or at least gives me something to think about.   I draw the line at hate mail, I will not listen to or dignify with a response someone calling me or people who might read this blog names, and telling me I am cursed. Or that I need to repent, and receive healing, seek "re-parative therapy".    One asked how someone like me can do the work I do without bringing condemnation to everyone I meet. There is no room in my life for hate. These from folk who call themselves christian. I won't judge you as you have judged me. God is our judge, and I resist the urge to preach at you through this blog, but I ask you how is that bearing fruit for the Lord and making a difference in a life? How is that edifying? The Scripture says "you shall know them by their LOVE"

My relationship posts talk about love, its often a thread of commonality that runs through the kinds of relationships I spoke about.  Love is created by God, God is love, not hate.

Well enough said about this, I could write more but I will save that for my journal.  I like my posts to be about positive things or at least how I'm dealing with negative aspects of this life.

Again I welcome your comments and emails, I enjoy the dialogue.  If you have some positive insight or a question please submit a comment or email.
 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

That Relationship Thing: The Wrap Up

Well here we come to the wrap up of my series of thoughts on relationships for a gay man.  This of course has been from my perspective and a bit of my experience. However limited that maybe. My hope from the very beginning of my coming out saga, has been to find one man to love and who would love me. As with anything in life, it is so much more complicated than that!  I have found my ideology gets in the way often times.  In a "perfect" world it would be the way my religious background  says it should be.  Of course according to my religious background's "perfect" world homosexuality would not exist.  We know that is not real!  This is why I refer to myself as a recovering Baptist! 

Let me separate ideology from reality right here.  I am a person of faith, it was my faith which helped me "get real" and come out. I distinguish this from the religiosity that kept me afraid and in the closet for the first 35 years of my life.  If you wonder what I mean by this, please feel free to search this blog and find my posts on coming out, faith, and theology of coming out.  The issue at hand is how do I move forward?  Where do I go from here?

The answer is simple, taking a step at a time, one day at a time.  See where these steps lead.  I have to believe what Jeremiah 29:11 states.  God has a plan, its up to me to seek and find the way.  Thus far it has been an incredible and exciting journey.  Taking this journey has brought some special people into my life.  I have loved and lost, and loved again, loved differently. On this journey I have discovered a few close friends for whom I am grateful. I am still searching, will continue.  One of my friends has said, he thinks he will always be looking for something better or different. I think the reality its not always better on the other side of the next zipper. It can often lead to pain.  That is why there are varying degrees of relating, varying kinds of long term relationships which were mentioned in  the early posts of this series.  I think its a coping mechanism, the thread again is love.  There is a follower of this blog who has a husband he loves and is committed to, he is not one who seeks gratification outside his relationship, because of love for his husband.  That is special, that is true love and commitment it does exist in gay relationships.  Someone else I talk with  says that kind commitment is rare.  I'm not so sure about that, we just don't hear much about them. or am I not being realistic again?

For me I will keep on trying and hope for the best.  There is someone out there, one I will meet or perhaps I already have met or know him? Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for well wishes and praying!

Staying on my Rainbow Fish Journey

Saturday, September 22, 2012

That Relationship Thing: A Boyfriend

In continuing my writing on relationships, I would like to share a success.  Several years ago I had a lunch date with a guy that turned into a relationship which lasted a little over a year.  Until it was time for him to return to his native country to continue his career and care for his parents.

We both knew in the back of our minds that day would come, but it did not stop us from enjoying the time we had together. This also made it easier when time came for him to leave. It was not a live in life partner type of arrangement, rather we saw other as often as possible.  At times during that year it was on again off again, but some how we always ended up together. Our relationship solidified for me my peace and satisfaction with my sexuality.  This was possible, it was was a good thing, I was happy.  There was love in our relationship, that I had not experienced before. 

He was in his 20's, I in my 40's, age and race are not issues for me.as long as one is of age and  old enough to know who they are or well on the way to that place, and know what the they want. Yet he was very mature for his age, and could hold an intelligent conversation on issues from geopolitical situations, cultural events, investing, to spiritual issues.  He was in this country on a work visa to complete a year long management residency.   He was so open about everything, I often had to warn him about being too out with his coworkers, neighbors. One time we were out to eat and ran into one of his bosses, he introduced me as his boyfriend.   He finally learned the lesson the hard way, fortunately he was not hurt in the process. 

Often I had to explain things to him with regards to our laws, and our culture.  One time he received a letter from the DMV, and thought they were going to take his car away.  I explained about paying his taxes, and renewing his car registration. He also helped me see a lighter side of life, and my sexuality.  Its no surprise I often take myself, and the issues I have too seriously.

Experiencing a relationship helped me know that is what I want to have in my life again.  It is what I hope for in the long term.  Someone special to me, for me.  Someone in my corner, who knows me well. 

The day came it was time for him to leave, it was a sad, bittersweet moment.  I still hear from him from time to time via email.

Next Wrapping it all up.






 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

That Relationship Thing: This is Dating?

Dating is like a bag of mixed nuts, you reach in and grab one and never know what your going to get.   I have dated some over the past few years, and met some very interesting and very nice guys.  A few crazies, some gay men are worse than a menstruating woman, sorry ladies.

Most of the time a "date" for me starts from an email or chat online and moves to a face to face meeting at a place where food is served. Some of these dates end there, with no further conversation. Either I'm not what he his looking for, or expecting or he is not for me.  Although I am always open to friendship and conversation. Others continue with more chatting, texting, calling and maybe another date. In the interest of keeping it real, hook ups happen, one is only human.  Rarely do I meet someone in public and end up asking or being asked on a date.  Especially with the work I do, it just does not happen. I would like to share here a few dating experiences that stick out in my mind.

Once when I was living in another part of the state, I had a series of conversations with a guy on the phone that I thought were leading up to a date. Until he brought up the subject of religion, he was a church goer, but struggled with his sexuality and faith. I did not tell him about my work, I was saving that until I knew him better. All I said was I had the same struggle which at that time I did.  He went off and told me I would have to choose between him and my faith. Say What??? Where did that come from???  I told him I could not, nor should I have to do that and he angrily hung up on me. Chalk that one up to experience.

Another guy I talked with on the phone for a few weeks, we had a few serious conversations about life and what we were looking for. We met once for lunch and I was hopeful, until he started acting like we were a couple after one lunch together.  He became possessive calling me wanting to know where I was, who I was with, and so on. That was a turn off, what if we became a couple? What would that be like? I told him how I felt about his questioning andthat i did not think it would work out.  So that was the end of that and I was relieved!  There have been a number of dates that have led to continued friendships. But so far not to the love of my life, my life partner.

There is a good friend in my life that I met this way. It started as an email chat.  Actually I initiated the chat because I liked what I read in his profile.  He was looking for friendship and a relationship, had some witty saying and sounded attractive to me.  That email started a chat that led to texts and phone conversations.  Which in turn led to a meeting at a local Barnes and Noble Cafe.  He told me about a year later, that had I not called him an hour before our meeting to verify it, he was not going to show up.  Well he did show up, and we talked for four and half to five hours.  It did not seem like five hours at all to me, but we closed the store. As they say the rest is history. Today he is one of my closest friends.  A few months ago he called me and we got to talking, and kept on talking.  I fixed my soup and sandwich, he fixed his fish, and we ate "together" over the phone.  That conversation lasted three hours.  Again it did not seem like three hours to me, it flew by.  There is no one else I talk to like that and I am thankful for his friendship. 

There was a date I had a few years ago that led to a relationship.  Next post titled A Boyfriend! 

Monday, September 10, 2012

That Relationship Thing, Part I

This post has been rattling around in my mind and in Word for sometime now. Its long, in fact it will be broken into several posts not sure how many.Writing helps me get my thoughts and feelings out and expressed. Its been awhile since I posted anything about my personal goals, hope, or dream. Not sure this will be published in its entirety either. I still have hope for a long term relationship with a guy who will fall in love with me and I him. That will lead to a long term loving, and committed relationship. 

Interpersonal Relations
 There are many types of relationships we have in life, it does not matter who we are, or where we come from. Some relationships we choose, some we don't.  Those we don't choose are family, and coworkers,(other than the choice of a job) now on what level we relate with this group is up to us.  Some family we can be vulnerable with, others we dare not risk being vulnerable with. Its up to the individual how close one relates.

The Real friend
We have friends, those we consider acquaintances, those we consider friends, and those with whom we are very close. Often times our friends are known as the family we choose, especially those who stay with us through thick and thin. Who are willing to tell us what they think,  to tell us the truth regardless how we react. I am reminded of a proverb, "the wounds of a friend are faithful, the kisses of an enemy cause deceit and destruction" In other words they are free to take risks with us. We are free to take risks with them as well.  Both persons in this relationship benefit from the love and care of  a real friend. 

My Working Relationships
For me, my work situation, limits how vulnerable I can be. Indeed in the workplace it is wise to keep a certain distance from your customer.  My Coworkers directly in my department are in a situation where a certain amount of vulnerability goes with the territory. I have coworkers in my office who learned quite a bit about me over the years.  Some from clinical training days. They may suspect I am gay, but only 3 know for certain. Two are no longer working there, and they were in a position that was "easy" for them to suspect and or figure it out. One, my CPE supervisor told me "I read like a book" Still though my work is clinical, it is church related in a sense and therefore "don't ask, Don't tell is alive and well.

 In my work, I am charged with keeping confidentiality at the highest level possible. People tell me things.  It would be imprudent of me to allow myself to be too open.  Especially with regards to my sexuality. In some cases being too "out" can create a wall and hinder working with people. It can also cost a high price in terms of work opportunities, as I have recently experienced. I don't need to be vulnerable in those situations. Relationships in church are just like those in the workplace. One must be careful how vulnerable to be.

For me, I am blessed to have friends who Ilove and care about and who care about me.  The few who I can truly be myself with are also gay.  They pretty much know me, I can usually share and they tell me the truth straight up. I don't always listen, and have found that I should have. Could have saved me some heart ache, but I'm a hard headed bitch sometimes.  :)

Next Installment What about Romance?

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Gay Marriage and the Episcopal Church

As a Christian who happens to be gay, I follow with great interest anything denominational organizations say or vote on pertaining to equality for the GLBT community. Three such declarations have occurred this summer.

First, the Presbyterian USA General Conference debated and voted against changing language in favor of same sex unions. Well since the local Presbyteries must ratify it, and then can interpret the rule according to majority vote.  I don't think it makes much difference.

Second, the Methodist Church at its General Conference, decided not to change anything about its policy toward the GLBT community. They even strengthened policy to state that the local churches cannot vote to or publicly disagree with Church policy. If I read the statement correctly.

Then there is the Episcopal Church, which recently approved the official blessings of Same Sex Unions. This denomination was one of the first to ordain women, the first to have an openly gay Bishop. This church is on the cutting edge of cultural change and acceptance. I think they seek to be faithful to Biblical teaching in regards to what is truly important. Model the acceptance Jesus Christ sought to bring.  They are one of few denominations who are open to our community.  Perhaps will have the opportunity to reach our community.  If I were not already credentialed and it was not such a long road to change, I might make a move. I applaud the Episcopal Church welcoming the opportunity to minister to the LGBT community.

Again same sex marriage is about love between two men or two woman who make a family.  I am glad they have done this. 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Its All About Love

Love is patient, love is kind, is not jealous, love does not brag, is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly, it does not seeks its own... Abide Faith, Hope, Love but the greatest of these is LOVE.
I Cor 13: 4,5,13.

The greatest most lasting thing in life is love. The love of a parent for a child, love between friends, romantic love, God's love for His created, the love God gives for us all.. True love does not propagate hate.  The hate that kills a group of people because they are "different." Hate that denies rights because one is "different."

The issue of Gay Marriage has been made to be a religious issue, a political issue, I believe a hate issue...religious bigotry and hate. Marriage is a human institution, God created man and woman, NOT the institution of marriage. 

The root of marriage is supposed to about LOVE and a commitment. If a same sex couple loves each other enough to want to make that type of official commitment...they should be able to. I thank God a couple gay or straight does have to be married to love and be committed to one another. Not being able to marry is not going to stop the commitment. its about a relationship.

I found a video i want to share, its not about gay marriage but what god's love and faith are supposed to be about.

http://youtu.be/3YXINEYdnkY

Love is about relationship, God's love is about a relationship with Him.  Not a set of rules to follow, or a particular organized group to belong to.  Its about LOVE

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Lets Talk About Sex...Survey

Several months ago I took part in an online survey by OUT magazine and Gay.net.  It was a survey about sex, first I wanted to see what kind of questions they asked.  Then I decided to respond with my views, I don't put too much stock in survey results because they often are skewed.  Well they have released the results of that survey and I thought I would highlight some points I find interesting here.
I did not see any data about the average age of the respondants.

There were 13300 respondants

Who took it:  88% gay,
10% bisexual,
1% were questioning,
Of respondants 5 were straight, 4 were lesbian.

Relationship status, 59% are not currently in a relationship
55% are single (I wonder a breakdown by age group?)
25% have a parnter/husband (again age group)
12 % have a boy/ girl friend
7% are dating

Coming Out
31% between 18-22
13% 23-26
13% 30+
17% 13-17
17% still have not

Sexual role
52% are Versatile
28% Bottom
20% Top

Now the survey also covered questions about intimacy which I don't care to report. I don't recall questions concerning communication in relationships, or about safe sex.   A question I wish they had asked, is about fidelity in relationships.  I would like to see something about this, even though not sure I believe a lot of survey results.  Anyway I thought this was interesting.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

My Theology: Grace

Next I need to tackle the issue of forgiveness, grace and salvation. In some Christian circles it is taught that the homosexual has no place in God's kingdom. either by being or living. The teaches there must be complete repentance and abandonment of anything to do with one's "forbidden" sexuality. Often therapy to change a person from gay to straight if offered or in some cases demanded. I do not want this writing to become a commentary on those beliefs and practices. Rather I am setting forth what I believe, what I have learned through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Therefore, I have to state, the only thing that separates us from God is sin. The only thing that separates one eternally from God; is rejecting God's offer of salvation by grace through Jesus Christ. Romans 8:1, tells us once one is in Christ, “there is now no condemnation”. Further, Ephesians 2: 8-9 teaches that “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; and that not as a result of works that no one should boast.

To say otherwise means that God's grace, the work of Christ on the cross is not sufficient. To say that would mean our God is not as sovereign as we say he is. This is not the truth or the power of God I have experienced in my life. Jesus spoke as recorded in John 14:6a, and said "He is the way the truth and life. The Bible also states in John 8:32 "you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". The there is Romans 10:9-10, which very clearly state that if one hears, believes and responds he or she is redeemed. So this speaks to me that God's grace covers each person according to their need of grace. The who so ever will receive will be received. When we are received we are sealed with the Holy Spirit according to Eph 1:13. What Jehovah Tsidkenu does is for eternity.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

My Theology: Born this way

The question I wanted an answer for, that I sought to understand is; where does homosexuality come from? Is it a choice? Is it learned? Or is it something more basic like in the DNA that makes us?

First, I can say without any doubt in my mind and heart that homosexuality in NOT a choice. Think of it, who would choose to be someone that is discriminated against? That is thought of by many as “contrary to nature”? Who would choose not to have the right to marry the one he or she loves? In many sectors of society be looked down upon? Who? Plus if there were a choice one could choose not to, and change. There is scientific data which I am told shows same sex attraction is not learned or chosen. It is in one’s make up. It’s a chromosome gene.

Why? What is the purpose? That is a question for which I have no answer other than through the eyes of my faith to say… the Sovereignty of God. It’s a God thing.

Two places in the Old Testament come to mind when thinking of this. First, Jeremiah 1:5a which states “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. And before you were born I consecrated you” Not trying to be out of context, I must note this is referring to Jeremiah’s call to ministry. However, it also shows us how God the father knows us and he is active in our creation. In forming us; and knowing us.

Further, Psalm 139 in its entirety. The first portion talks about God’s knowledge of us, verse 1, “Lord you have searched me and known me” verse 2b, “You understand my thoughts from afar” The in verse 3 “You are intimately acquainted with all my ways” Wow! The passage goes on to describe how God knows us, there is no place on earth we can go to escape the gaze of God or his knowledge of us.

In verse 13 the Psalmist writes, “For you formed inmost parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb.” This is the most compelling point for me when the scripture states that the God of the universe formed my inmost parts, wove me. Couple that with the verse from Jeremiah, and I understand better. God formed, made, molded my inmost parts would include my DNA, the chromosome gene, my personality, my gifting and ability, and my sexuality. In his Sovereign knowledge of me God knew from the very beginning I would be gay. He placed the substance there in me that would make me who I am.

To say God the father would not do that or could not do that is to say God the father is not as is Sovereign as we say he is. I believe by faith that God created me gay, that I was born to be a Christian gay and consecrated from the womb to the work I do. Gay or straight, I believe the same is true for you too.