Coming Out

Coming out is something every gay man or woman works at, frets over and eventually works through in one way or another. Me I am a late bloomer, mainly due to my SBC background, I did not allow myself the opportunity to deal with it. I repressed it, did not think about, confessed it time and again. I thought it was something horrible, something must be wrong with me. It seemed to go against everything I learned in church, in the Bible.

It was not until I began my chaplaincy training that I realized these feelings and urges were real. They were and are a part of who I am. Wow! I began to seek answers about my sexuality, both in the Bible and in science. there is too much to say about that here. I began a process that took a number of years, it began when i opened a door to gay expereinces. not just sex, but talking with gay men about sexuality, it was a difficult journey. I have not finished either.

Like spiritual growth this is a process I will be on for the rest of my life. I have found that my spirituality informs my sexuality. Spirituality and sexuality are closely linked. This process has changed me greatly, I am more down to earth, at peace with myself, more liberal in a sense of being free to be me, and allow others to be themselves. I am free by the grace of God! I surrender my life and sexuality to the Lordship of Jesus Christ! Jesus said you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free! Jesus Christ himself is truth. It was when i recognized the truth about myself before my God that I was set free. I am what I am by the Grace of God.

Coming to terms and coming out to ones self, to God, and then to significant people in your life is no small task. There is alot of risk involved. So far I have been blessed with wisdom from the Holy Spirit as to who to tell. There are those who I will never be able to tell. That is ok, so I will most likely never be generally out. Unless the Lord has other plans for me. I am out vto other GLBT folks I have met. I am out to my sister, to my CPE supervisor, and a few others. The circle is enlarging. What a journey!