A Code and a Crisis

Recently, I responded to a code blue in the ER. I never know what I'm walking into when the pager goes off. I walked into the room where the patient was, everything seemed "normal" for a code. The staff was busy caring for the patient, doing the work they do. Suddenly outside the room a colleague was frantically wanting to enter. I had to restrain this person. That is when I heard who the patient was.

One look confirmed the patient was one of our own...I knew the patient. This is not the first time this has happened over the years, and it wont be the last. The patient was young, vibrant, with young children. I spent hours with family, several coworkers, and doctors came by. This community pulls together and supports one another in the moment of need yet,we must put off dealing with our own issues. After all its the ER, there is always the next patient who needs us. The hardest was helping family try to explain to the children why "mommy wont wake up"

The Hospital had a memorial service in the chapel, and did a Critical Incidence debriefing as well. Its seems like everything should stop, at least pause for a moment to reflect. The reality is life keeps moving and we keep moving with it. Yet circumstance and our body and spirit demands we pay attention to our emotions, our health, our spirit. If not how can we be there for others?

In memoriam.

My Theology: A Word about Confession and Sanctification

Confession is good for the soul is a popular saying. However, it is also very true. there are three types of confession in my life. Confessing my faith, as found in the Book of Confessions, that is confessing what I believe about God, Jesus Christ. Who God is, Father, Creator. It is also confessing my needs, my dependence on God. Then there is confession of sin. Its not confessing in order to be forgiven; rather its confession agreeing with God what he already knows about me. forgiveness of God for my sin has already been given by the grace of God. Confession is only agreeing with God and receiving forgiveness already given. No part of anything I do earns God's favor. God is sovereign and he gives forgiveness to on the basis of his grace. Not on the basis of anything I do or confess. A good example is Isiah 6. The prophet, experiences God, his response is to bow down and confess his sin, his need. God gives forgiveness. The fact that the prophet was in the presence of God is by God's sovereign plan. The prophet's response is to surrender to God's call and plan. Sanctification is our response to god's grace, a process of living a life forgiven and fulfilling God's purpose and will for each of us. Soli Deo Gloria!

My Theology: Grace

Next I need to tackle the issue of forgiveness, grace and salvation. In some Christian circles it is taught that the homosexual has no place in God's kingdom. either by being or living. The teaches there must be complete repentance and abandonment of anything to do with one's "forbidden" sexuality. Often therapy to change a person from gay to straight if offered or in some cases demanded. I do not want this writing to become a commentary on those beliefs and practices. Rather I am setting forth what I believe, what I have learned through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Therefore, I have to state, the only thing that separates us from God is sin. The only thing that separates one eternally from God; is rejecting God's offer of salvation by grace through Jesus Christ. Romans 8:1, tells us once one is in Christ, “there is now no condemnation”. Further, Ephesians 2: 8-9 teaches that “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; and that not as a result of works that no one should boast.”

To say otherwise means that God's grace, the work of Christ on the cross is not sufficient. To say that would mean our God is not as sovereign as we say he is. This is not the truth or the power of God I have experienced in my life. Jesus spoke as recorded in John 14:6a, and said "He is the way the truth and life. The Bible also states in John 8:32 "you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". The there is Romans 10:9-10, which very clearly state that if one hears, believes and responds he or she is redeemed. So this speaks to me that God's grace covers each person according to their need of grace. The who so ever will receive will be received. When we are received we are sealed with the Holy Spirit according to Eph 1:13. What Jehovah Tsidkenu does is for eternity.

My Theology: Born this way

The question I wanted an answer for, that I sought to understand is; where does homosexuality come from? Is it a choice? Is it learned? Or is it something more basic like in the DNA that makes us?

First, I can say without any doubt in my mind and heart that homosexuality in NOT a choice. Think of it, who would choose to be someone that is discriminated against? That is thought of by many as “contrary to nature”? Who would choose not to have the right to marry the one he or she loves? In many sectors of society be looked down upon? Who? Plus if there were a choice one could choose not to, and change. There is scientific data which I am told shows same sex attraction is not learned or chosen. It is in one’s make up. It’s a chromosome gene.

Why? What is the purpose? That is a question for which I have no answer other than through the eyes of my faith to say… the Sovereignty of God. It’s a God thing.

Two places in the Old Testament come to mind when thinking of this. First, Jeremiah 1:5a which states “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. And before you were born I consecrated you” Not trying to be out of context, I must note this is referring to Jeremiah’s call to ministry. However, it also shows us how God the father knows us and he is active in our creation. In forming us; and knowing us.

Further, Psalm 139 in its entirety. The first portion talks about God’s knowledge of us, verse 1, “Lord you have searched me and known me” verse 2b, “You understand my thoughts from afar” The in verse 3 “You are intimately acquainted with all my ways” Wow! The passage goes on to describe how God knows us, there is no place on earth we can go to escape the gaze of God or his knowledge of us.

In verse 13 the Psalmist writes, “For you formed inmost parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb.” This is the most compelling point for me when the scripture states that the God of the universe formed my inmost parts, wove me. Couple that with the verse from Jeremiah, and I understand better. God formed, made, molded my inmost parts would include my DNA, the chromosome gene, my personality, my gifting and ability, and my sexuality. In his Sovereign knowledge of me God knew from the very beginning I would be gay. He placed the substance there in me that would make me who I am.

To say God the father would not do that or could not do that is to say God the father is not as is Sovereign as we say he is. I believe by faith that God created me gay, that I was born to be a Christian gay and consecrated from the womb to the work I do. Gay or straight, I believe the same is true for you too.

My Theology Lev 20:13

There are a number of issues to talk about when considering biblical theology from a Christian gay perspective. Among them is what to think about Leviticus 20:13? Is homosexuality learned or in one’s make up? Is being or acting gay a sin which is unforgivable? It was not until I began wrestling with my own theology, studying scripture and reading various theologians and listening to the Holy Spirit speak to my heart, instead simply accepting what I heard or was taught; did I begin to understand what our Lord was saying to me. What it meant to me, develop my own systematic theology.

Let me say a word about my method of study. In examining scripture I usually read the passage in several versions to see the differences in wording. Then often I would read several commentaries coming from differing views ie conservative to more liberal. I also used resources to understand culture and history.

This writing is my attempt to verbalize in a systematic way my theological belief relating to homosexuality. It will be presented in several different posts dealing with specific scripture and issues. This is not nor is it meant to be an academic presentation, but rather a statement of what I have come to accept and believe as a Christian who is gay. My personal growth points in coming out.

Leviticus 20:13. “If a man sleeps with a man as with a woman, they have committed an abomination. They must be put to death, their blood in on their own hands” (HSB)

Often this verse is lifted out of the passage and used as if it stands alone. To do this ignores verses 1 through 21 of the passage plus the passages which precede and follow. That is never good exegesis. When considering Jewish law, history and context, several issues are raised. This was written in a time and culture when the nation of Israel was concerned about survival, purity, and idol worship. In the surrounding nations there was idol temple prostitution both heterosexual and homosexual often used and accepted as a form of worship to particular Idols. This was in direct violation of "you shall have no other God before me" commandment. Also if men had sex with men or women with women, there was no procreation for the nation. This verse is part of a passage of scripture that is speaking to the issues of procreation, aspects of Idol worship, ceremonial uncleanliness. Many of the rules set forth in this and other passages like it (such as not wearing wool, eating shell fish, or various meats) are no longer used or relevant to the life of God’s people.

To take this verse and used it without consideration of the rest of the passage, examining history, culture takes it out of context and often makes it a pretext. I don’t believe this single verse speaks to the issue facing the church and Christian homosexuals in the 21st century.

The New Thing

It has been a while since my last post! I need to be more consistent as I used to be.

Well, here it is. I know better than to say never. But I did. In past posts I said no to church employment, no to going in that direction. Well, our Lord has such a sense of humor, such a way of guiding, leading, teaching.

In May I joined the staff of a local Presbyterian church as the part time Coordinator of Christian Education for Adults. Funny uh? A Baptist minister serving a Presbyterian church! This church is a very open church, the pastor is liberal theologically and politically. Most of the church is theologically liberal or open. Yet, they have a high view of Scripture, a high Christiology, they think through what they believe and not just accept what they are told. I have been there 5 months now and I tell you i have been challenged, accepted, loved, taught. I have worked hard on programs, and projects. I am learning to rethink old ways of thinking. There is so much I could say about this new experience there is not room or time to write it. I thank God for this experience.

My Faith

Sometime ago I started sharing my personal statement of faith. Well I think the Apostles Creed states what I believe most effectively. Its the basics that are most important, I can work, and fellowship across denominational lines. Those traditions that separate us are not important enough keep me from working with others. At the Hospital I have to work with folks across all lines. Here I am placing the creed here, however there are specific doctrines that I want to speak to in future posts.

One of the things that I find bothersome about the denomination of my youth, is the practice of not working with or fellowshiping across denominational lines. There seems to be an emphasis on doctrinal purity and telling folk what to believe instead of teaching how to develop their own theology and gifts for service is unhealthy. Here is the Creed

I believe in God the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only son, our Lord who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilot, was crucified, died, buried, descended to the dead. Rose again on the third day,he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of God the Father. He will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church,the communion of the saints, the forgiveness of sin, the Resurrection of the body and everlasting life. AMEN.

Changes

Wow has it been that long since my last post? So much has occurred in my life since February! I will be sharing some of it here in the near future. I recall several posts where I said the "never" word. Well I should know by now you never say never! I will share more about that later too. It seems when you say never our Lord says Really... my plan for you includes the never item. God surely has a sense of humor!

Its has been a time of uncertainty, my path obscured by my thoughts, fears, misconceptions. They do get in the way! My how God opens things up when we surrender and whoosh its done. I truly stand amazed in the presence! I am in a different place now. Still adjusting

I will share more when there is time to write.

Haiti "Orphan" Questions

The news report stated that the ten Baptist mission people were taking orphans across the border to a safe place. The news also showed these missionaries in jail, which one quoted Scripture in chains for Christ. I hardly agree. Sounds to me like they went around the street picking up children, not getting them from an official orphanage, not only that but they failed to follow official channels and regulations for taking the children over the border. That is just wrong! I don't question the motives, but ignorance of the procedures, lack of planning, not following regulations is no excuse.

Mission organizations normally do a good job of navigating the regulatory process. This is just stupid. At least that's what I think about it all. I hope this won't impede other good mission organizations from making a true difference.

Winter Saga Continues

I did not drive anywhere over the weekend. I tried to find a ride to the Hospital yesterday to no avail. we worked it out though, two who lived close to each facility covered on call, I was the clearing house. All calls came through me, if it met the criteria then I passed it on.

Today its warmer melting a lot but not enough. I'm afraid it will just refreeze tonight. so the sage continues. We may get a wintery mix tomorrow, I pray not, let it be warmer and be rain O Lord.

Oh I'm thinking about starting a separate blog just to write about my search for a boyfriend. I might do that.

It SNOWED

Well I awoke at 03;30 this morning and looked out. No snow. When I awoke and looked out the ground was covered! We have around 7 to 8 inches on the ground. Its exciting and fun. I did not expect the forecast to work out, I hope we get enough that people are not expected to be on the roads.
Its very dangerous, I have never driven on snow and don't plan on it now. people around here drive like there is no snow, ice, or rain. They are NUTS! I canceled the service at the assisted living, but I'm supposed to be on call tomorrow night. I'm nervous about that.

I did go out and walk around, it was cold, wet but pretty. The snow makes it very quiet, but it has stopped now, RATS. I want it to snow enough so the Governor will declare a curfew and not allow people on the roads.

We shall see.

Snow Update

Well weekend classes at the local colleges and universities are canceled for the weekend. Many of the weekend activities planned, like a fundraiser for Haiti, sporting events, ect have all been postponed. People have crowded the stores and bought up supplies.

All this and there is NOT a flake in the sky!!

So I expect snow on the ground when I get up in the morning.