There are a number blogs I follow, some publicly, a few privately. Usually, there is something in particular in the blog that draws me to keep checking and reading, sometimes commenting. A few I check and read daily. There is one I read today which struck a chord in me, I want to highlight here. Its Rick Modien at This Gay Relationship. He writes about his relationship with his husband of twenty plus years. In the post "Do The Work Now", he makes the point that until a gay person, comes to the place where he or she "learns to understand, accept, and love" him or herself how can one accept and love that special someone? Indeed this is true for anyone, straight or gay.
Rick has hit the nail on the head with this comment in his post. This is so important, somehow, some way there is a path to understanding and loving oneself as a gay person. Otherwise, I think we can sabotage our relationships. Self loathing only leads to self destructive behaviors, and destroys loving relationships
I recall when I finally came to the place where I found peace with my sexuality. It was such a huge relief to me, I blogged about it here in a series of posts in 2008, then updated in 2010. Yet the work continues. I don't think it is something that is ever complete, because I believe we evolve and grow. Speaking for myself, I know its something I need to keep working on and growing. For others it maybe something you need to grow through.
The work is often not easy, otherwise it would not be called work! How do you start? One step at a time, one issue at a time find your path. I encourage you as Rick says in his blog "do the work"
Rick has hit the nail on the head with this comment in his post. This is so important, somehow, some way there is a path to understanding and loving oneself as a gay person. Otherwise, I think we can sabotage our relationships. Self loathing only leads to self destructive behaviors, and destroys loving relationships
I recall when I finally came to the place where I found peace with my sexuality. It was such a huge relief to me, I blogged about it here in a series of posts in 2008, then updated in 2010. Yet the work continues. I don't think it is something that is ever complete, because I believe we evolve and grow. Speaking for myself, I know its something I need to keep working on and growing. For others it maybe something you need to grow through.
The work is often not easy, otherwise it would not be called work! How do you start? One step at a time, one issue at a time find your path. I encourage you as Rick says in his blog "do the work"
1 comment:
Topper, I'm so pleased I wrote something on my blog that, as you said, struck a chord, and that you, in turn, shared with others on your blog.
Listen, this is a big one–the big one being, if we don't get ourselves together, if we don't come to terms with our sexual orientation, if we don't eliminate our self-loathing, we can't possibly hope to have healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationships with significant others.
This message cannot be repeated often enough, and I'm so glad you took the torch from me and carried it along to your readers.
May it reach many, many people who need to know it.
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