Showing posts with label gay marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay marriage. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Transgender Rembrance Day 2012

In honor of Transgender Remembrance Day.  Let us all think of those who have been killed or injured  simply for being Transgender.  For daring to be in public as they view themselves.   For seeking recognition and love as they are for who they are.
Let our community continue to stand against this kind of  discrimination, and hate.  Please take a moment and pray for those who seek to be true to who they are.
Anti gay hate crimes and discrimination need to be included in all non discriminatory laws.

Lets stop the hate!


Thursday, November 8, 2012

Post Election 2012

Voting on the day. Well its all over! No more political ads!  Several things I want to sound off on about the election, first the long lines.  Knowing this is such an important election, plans should have been made to have more help at the polls, especially with checking voters in. Second, more voter machines would have helped as well. 

Now for the results.  I am very pleased that President Obama has been re-elected.  He most closely represents what I am looking for on tax and social issues especially.  I am pleased our state elected a democrat to Senate.  However, I am not pleased with the outcome of the House race, oh well I guess.  I had hoped for at least a closer split in the House, that the far right wing tea party people would have their wings clipped.  I feel they have contributed to the worsening gridlock we have in Congress. not sure how things will be in the near future, but time will tell.

It appears Virginia is now a 'Blue" state for the most part at least.

Gay Marriage:  Now the really big results for the Gay community!  Same Sex Marriage has been approved by popular vote referendum in two states!  I hope and think this represents changing in views of the general population. My roommate told me about an article he read where in the 90's many did not know a gay person, (reality check, they did not admit knowing a gay person)  In 2012 a large portion of the population says they have a gay friend or relative.  How times are changing, as Martha would say "Its a good thing" 

Lets keep our country, President, Congress and economy in our thoughts and prayers as they seek to lead and deal with issues we all face.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Log Cabin Republicans

Recently the Log Cabin Republicans formerly endorsed Mitt Romney.

Log Cabin Republicans are a group in the republican party who identify themselves as both gay and republican.  Now this being America, anyone is entitled to believe what they want, live how they want, support whatever political platform which suits them. Many have served, fought, and died to ensure this right. I would never deny anyone their rights.  Much the same as I would not want anyone to deny mine as well.  now before I was fully out of the closet, I most often voted republican, and publicly supported the party platform.  However, since those days, the republican platform has moved so much farther to the right, I would not be able to support even if I were still of the mentality I was in the closet.

That being said, I would like to ask, and offer a possible answer as to, how can a gay person actively support a political platform, an ideology that denies his or her rights? That makes one a second class citizen,  a scapegoat if you will?   First, its the choice of the person, for whatever reason. I would like to suggest for some money plays a big role.  Their platform of lower taxes,  fewer regulations on those who make millions of dollars; far outweighs the negative impact of their social agenda on the gay community. On other groups such a equal pay for women, workers rights, consumer rights and protections.

Although I generally vote for the person and not party, increasingly I find myself voting party lines due to the rigidity of the far right republican party.  This is why there is the kind of in civility,and severe gridlock we have in Congress. I hope and pray, our nation goes to the polls this election day and votes in people who will do what is right for the country as a whole and not just for their platform or ideology.

Friday, October 19, 2012

A Victory For Same Sex Marriage

When victories occur for the gay community its nice to pause and consider the implications.  I am referring to the NY Court decision declaring DOMA unconstitutional.  The difference with this decision is the fact that a federal judge appointed years ago by a conservative President, wrote basically the gay community has been and is being discriminated against.  That this law discriminates against a segment of american society which has rights under the constitution.  This is significant to for those of us who have the hope of one day being able to legally marry in this nation.
 
Will I see the day when same sex marriage is not rejected?  I don't know, but I have a glimmer of hope. Of course if I ever find one I want to marry, we could go to a state, or nation where our marriage is accepted. 
Sign me hopeful but realistic.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Come out Come Out Where ever You Are!!

In honor of National Coming out Day, Won't you take the bold freeing step out and be yourself?  Know YOUR truth...Claim your Voice!

At least acknowledge it to yourself for yourself that is a first step.  John 8:32 "You shall know the TRUTH and the truth shall set you FREE" 

Choose wisely who you acknowledge this too. Not everyone will be accepting. Those who truly love you will accept you.

The most important thing is to be YOU. be comfortable in your own skin, find peace. 

I found peace when I accepted me the way God made me!

Open that door let the light shine in.

A link to It Gets better . org

http://www.itgetsbetter.org/video/

Hate Mail...Really?

From the beginning of my very first blog post I knew I might draw negative comments from time to time.  Which I have, and I do not post those unless it adds something to think about. Its one thing to disagree, express your opinion, but totally another to be disagreeable and express hatred.  Those kinds of comments are always deleted, never posted. Especially when its from an anonymous source!  If your going to leave a hateful comment at least have the guts (I really wanna say balls) to own your words.   Sometimes its an email, I do not respond to these as there is no room for dialogue. It would accomplish nothing. 

The series of posts on relationships I just completed, has elicited a few responses mostly positive emails, but a couple of negative and down right hateful comments. Now I welcome all comments, I enjoy the dialogue with people.  Sometimes I hear a viewpoint that helps me greatly or at least gives me something to think about.   I draw the line at hate mail, I will not listen to or dignify with a response someone calling me or people who might read this blog names, and telling me I am cursed. Or that I need to repent, and receive healing, seek "re-parative therapy".    One asked how someone like me can do the work I do without bringing condemnation to everyone I meet. There is no room in my life for hate. These from folk who call themselves christian. I won't judge you as you have judged me. God is our judge, and I resist the urge to preach at you through this blog, but I ask you how is that bearing fruit for the Lord and making a difference in a life? How is that edifying? The Scripture says "you shall know them by their LOVE"

My relationship posts talk about love, its often a thread of commonality that runs through the kinds of relationships I spoke about.  Love is created by God, God is love, not hate.

Well enough said about this, I could write more but I will save that for my journal.  I like my posts to be about positive things or at least how I'm dealing with negative aspects of this life.

Again I welcome your comments and emails, I enjoy the dialogue.  If you have some positive insight or a question please submit a comment or email.
 

Monday, October 8, 2012

Monday Medley Dutty Love love say it

A Good Monday, today is Columbus Day, a holiday in many parts of the country.  I just finished a crazy shift. Sixteen hours of actual in house coverage and thirty-two hours of on call coverage.  Last night I was called 5 times, very little sleep.  I hope they change this weekend schedule!  Its ok at the smaller Hospitals but the place I was covering is ALWAYS very busy.

October is one of my favorite months, we are getting into the fall season, church bazaars are getting into full swing, its the time of year I enjoy antiquing the most.  However, this month is also my mother's birthday. The first since her death in January, so its a very poignant time for me.  I have a lot of thoughts and emotions swirling around which makes me more sensitive, and perhaps vulnerable.  I noted it last night in my work, I do not like feeling so raw emotionally myself in the midst of others crisis.  I feel I lacked the appropriate distance, to be the non anxious presence in the midst of their crisis.  There must be balance?

Today I want to share two songs, rather different, talking about different kinds of love. Just my feeling today.  I am finding how music helps get the feelings out, whether its sadness, anger, or whatever.  The beat, and  and words seem to help.     Hope you enjoy them..One of these songs is a repeat from a few months ago.  Just where I am today. ..

http://youtu.be/6giXgG6qQzo

http://youtu.be/xWCcW3A08Vc

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

That Relationship Thing: The Wrap Up

Well here we come to the wrap up of my series of thoughts on relationships for a gay man.  This of course has been from my perspective and a bit of my experience. However limited that maybe. My hope from the very beginning of my coming out saga, has been to find one man to love and who would love me. As with anything in life, it is so much more complicated than that!  I have found my ideology gets in the way often times.  In a "perfect" world it would be the way my religious background  says it should be.  Of course according to my religious background's "perfect" world homosexuality would not exist.  We know that is not real!  This is why I refer to myself as a recovering Baptist! 

Let me separate ideology from reality right here.  I am a person of faith, it was my faith which helped me "get real" and come out. I distinguish this from the religiosity that kept me afraid and in the closet for the first 35 years of my life.  If you wonder what I mean by this, please feel free to search this blog and find my posts on coming out, faith, and theology of coming out.  The issue at hand is how do I move forward?  Where do I go from here?

The answer is simple, taking a step at a time, one day at a time.  See where these steps lead.  I have to believe what Jeremiah 29:11 states.  God has a plan, its up to me to seek and find the way.  Thus far it has been an incredible and exciting journey.  Taking this journey has brought some special people into my life.  I have loved and lost, and loved again, loved differently. On this journey I have discovered a few close friends for whom I am grateful. I am still searching, will continue.  One of my friends has said, he thinks he will always be looking for something better or different. I think the reality its not always better on the other side of the next zipper. It can often lead to pain.  That is why there are varying degrees of relating, varying kinds of long term relationships which were mentioned in  the early posts of this series.  I think its a coping mechanism, the thread again is love.  There is a follower of this blog who has a husband he loves and is committed to, he is not one who seeks gratification outside his relationship, because of love for his husband.  That is special, that is true love and commitment it does exist in gay relationships.  Someone else I talk with  says that kind commitment is rare.  I'm not so sure about that, we just don't hear much about them. or am I not being realistic again?

For me I will keep on trying and hope for the best.  There is someone out there, one I will meet or perhaps I already have met or know him? Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for well wishes and praying!

Staying on my Rainbow Fish Journey

Saturday, September 22, 2012

That Relationship Thing: A Boyfriend

In continuing my writing on relationships, I would like to share a success.  Several years ago I had a lunch date with a guy that turned into a relationship which lasted a little over a year.  Until it was time for him to return to his native country to continue his career and care for his parents.

We both knew in the back of our minds that day would come, but it did not stop us from enjoying the time we had together. This also made it easier when time came for him to leave. It was not a live in life partner type of arrangement, rather we saw other as often as possible.  At times during that year it was on again off again, but some how we always ended up together. Our relationship solidified for me my peace and satisfaction with my sexuality.  This was possible, it was was a good thing, I was happy.  There was love in our relationship, that I had not experienced before. 

He was in his 20's, I in my 40's, age and race are not issues for me.as long as one is of age and  old enough to know who they are or well on the way to that place, and know what the they want. Yet he was very mature for his age, and could hold an intelligent conversation on issues from geopolitical situations, cultural events, investing, to spiritual issues.  He was in this country on a work visa to complete a year long management residency.   He was so open about everything, I often had to warn him about being too out with his coworkers, neighbors. One time we were out to eat and ran into one of his bosses, he introduced me as his boyfriend.   He finally learned the lesson the hard way, fortunately he was not hurt in the process. 

Often I had to explain things to him with regards to our laws, and our culture.  One time he received a letter from the DMV, and thought they were going to take his car away.  I explained about paying his taxes, and renewing his car registration. He also helped me see a lighter side of life, and my sexuality.  Its no surprise I often take myself, and the issues I have too seriously.

Experiencing a relationship helped me know that is what I want to have in my life again.  It is what I hope for in the long term.  Someone special to me, for me.  Someone in my corner, who knows me well. 

The day came it was time for him to leave, it was a sad, bittersweet moment.  I still hear from him from time to time via email.

Next Wrapping it all up.






 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

That Relationship Thing: This is Dating?

Dating is like a bag of mixed nuts, you reach in and grab one and never know what your going to get.   I have dated some over the past few years, and met some very interesting and very nice guys.  A few crazies, some gay men are worse than a menstruating woman, sorry ladies.

Most of the time a "date" for me starts from an email or chat online and moves to a face to face meeting at a place where food is served. Some of these dates end there, with no further conversation. Either I'm not what he his looking for, or expecting or he is not for me.  Although I am always open to friendship and conversation. Others continue with more chatting, texting, calling and maybe another date. In the interest of keeping it real, hook ups happen, one is only human.  Rarely do I meet someone in public and end up asking or being asked on a date.  Especially with the work I do, it just does not happen. I would like to share here a few dating experiences that stick out in my mind.

Once when I was living in another part of the state, I had a series of conversations with a guy on the phone that I thought were leading up to a date. Until he brought up the subject of religion, he was a church goer, but struggled with his sexuality and faith. I did not tell him about my work, I was saving that until I knew him better. All I said was I had the same struggle which at that time I did.  He went off and told me I would have to choose between him and my faith. Say What??? Where did that come from???  I told him I could not, nor should I have to do that and he angrily hung up on me. Chalk that one up to experience.

Another guy I talked with on the phone for a few weeks, we had a few serious conversations about life and what we were looking for. We met once for lunch and I was hopeful, until he started acting like we were a couple after one lunch together.  He became possessive calling me wanting to know where I was, who I was with, and so on. That was a turn off, what if we became a couple? What would that be like? I told him how I felt about his questioning andthat i did not think it would work out.  So that was the end of that and I was relieved!  There have been a number of dates that have led to continued friendships. But so far not to the love of my life, my life partner.

There is a good friend in my life that I met this way. It started as an email chat.  Actually I initiated the chat because I liked what I read in his profile.  He was looking for friendship and a relationship, had some witty saying and sounded attractive to me.  That email started a chat that led to texts and phone conversations.  Which in turn led to a meeting at a local Barnes and Noble Cafe.  He told me about a year later, that had I not called him an hour before our meeting to verify it, he was not going to show up.  Well he did show up, and we talked for four and half to five hours.  It did not seem like five hours at all to me, but we closed the store. As they say the rest is history. Today he is one of my closest friends.  A few months ago he called me and we got to talking, and kept on talking.  I fixed my soup and sandwich, he fixed his fish, and we ate "together" over the phone.  That conversation lasted three hours.  Again it did not seem like three hours to me, it flew by.  There is no one else I talk to like that and I am thankful for his friendship. 

There was a date I had a few years ago that led to a relationship.  Next post titled A Boyfriend! 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

That Relationship Thing: Unrequited Love (Revised)

There is someone in my life today who has been a good friend for a number of years.  He knew I am gay before I came to the place in my life where I accepted it.  He actually helped with some of my coming out.

He gave me support at a time in my life I needed it most. There is just one thing. At one point after I found peace to be who I am, I found myself falling in love with my friend. I fell hard for him too. At first, there was mutual attraction, but what I wanted he did not want. For a while it was very difficult and painful to deal with. Another friend helped me understand and find the skills to cope. In time I decided, our friendship was important to me and I wanted to keep this friend in my life. Those feelings remained under the surface for a period of time, but I worked to keep the bigger picture in my mind. Today he continues to be one of my closest friends. We love to laugh, shop, eat, and just enjoy each others company when we can. I still love him, but in a different way, he is family to me. Now I think the romance could ever be rekindled?  If things were to change, anything is possible.  Do I think it will ever happen?  I don't know. Am I waiting around for it to happen? No, that would be wrong.

My point in sharing this that love is what is important.  Those things done out of love, in a relationship of any type are what bond us together. For most I my life, by default, I was sheltered from the ups and downs of romance by my limited engagement. By a closeted existance.  Though through the coming out process, I had been on "dates"  there had never been anything serious up to this point. Now I had experienced a falling in love, and the disappointment that could happen. It was a life lesson.  What do I want? Who do I want to be and be with?  Not sure I have fully answered either of those question since I have discovered I am growing.  What I want tends to change as I grow.

What to share next?  Is this a date?
 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

That Relationship Thing: Adendum to Romance

In the last post, I failed to address the relationships that are truly Monogamous.  Those who stay faithful to one another because of love, and commitment. There ARE those successful relationships in the gay community, we just don't hear too much about them because they work.  I have no idea what percentage of the LGBT community are in long term committed relationships of the type described above.

Any relationship, whether a close friendship, a love relationship takes work on both sides.  It takes communication, the ability to give and take, and so much more.  A follower of this blog has shared his story with me about what works in his marriage.  Love outweighs the road blocks, brings surprises, and makes the commitment work.  The key is Love.  Finding and keeping that kind of love is something worth working for.

Question: Does the love of my life truly exist? Or is love for now the reality?

Next post I plan to share some of my personal journey.


 

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

That Relationship Thing; What About Romance?

When it comes to romance, like everything else in life it can get very messy, and complicated in a hurry. There are all kinds of romantic entanglements in life.  We find everything from a one night stand, a “no strings attached” sex partner, a friend with benefits, to a serious love relationship with variations of all the above.  There are strictly platonic, monogamous, and open relationships.   All these are alive and well in 2012 no matter what your sexual preference.  It all depends what one wishes for, but finding anyone of these can lead to frustration, disappointment, and heartbreak.

I am acquainted with several gay couples who have relationships like listed above. One thinks of themselves as monogamous, but in reality they are not.  They know they are not; it’s ok as long as the other does not “know” about anything his partner does outside their relationship and vice versa.  These two went to Las Vegas and exchanged rings in a commitment ceremony, and they have been together 15 years.  Another couple has been together 12 years, are in an open relationship.  This apparently works for them; this is not what I am looking for.  Though at one time, I thought I could consider an open relationship for the “right” man.  In honesty, If one came along, I might still consider it…for love, could I handle this? I don’t know.

Another aspect I read about and hear about is the amount of cheating that goes on. Even among “committed” couples.  Some say its “natural” to cheat, it helps the relationship.   It seems there is an idea of finding out what the next guy has to offer, even though there is some kind of “love” between one and the current guy.  There seems to be unsettledness in life. There is also the concept that, “I’m going to cheat on him before he cheats on me. Or because I know he is cheating” There are a few others I am acquainted with who work hard at their commitment and relationships and it works out.  The common thread among these couples who have stayed together is a commitment to each other that is grounded by love for each other.  One calls it an unconditional love.  

Another thing I have seen both in those I have chatted with, and in my work at the Hospitals.  There is an amount of abuse in relationships.  The abuse can be emotional, financial, physical or a combination of all three. Sometimes it is “put up with” because he loves me, or I need him.  Who else will have me?  I don’t care; there is no excuse for abuse, or living with abuse if one is aware of it.

Another aspect in gay relationships are the number of married men, who think of themselves as “straight or bisexual” who sneak off to have affairs with gay men.  There are quite a few, most justify it by saying they can’t help themselves.  In my opinion, they are in denial and lying to themselves, their wives, and lovers about their sexuality.  I don’t believe in bisexuality, I never hear of gay men of sneak off to have an affair with a woman.  Some legitimately have not dealt with their sexuality, and find themselves at a stage in life where they are confronted with it. They don’t know how to handle it.

As you can see life relationships, romantic entanglements can be messy, complicated and a lot of work. But I believe they are worth the effort, they are needed and essential to living a full life.  Gay or straight.
Next That Relationship Thing: My Personal Story. 

Monday, September 10, 2012

That Relationship Thing, Part I

This post has been rattling around in my mind and in Word for sometime now. Its long, in fact it will be broken into several posts not sure how many.Writing helps me get my thoughts and feelings out and expressed. Its been awhile since I posted anything about my personal goals, hope, or dream. Not sure this will be published in its entirety either. I still have hope for a long term relationship with a guy who will fall in love with me and I him. That will lead to a long term loving, and committed relationship. 

Interpersonal Relations
 There are many types of relationships we have in life, it does not matter who we are, or where we come from. Some relationships we choose, some we don't.  Those we don't choose are family, and coworkers,(other than the choice of a job) now on what level we relate with this group is up to us.  Some family we can be vulnerable with, others we dare not risk being vulnerable with. Its up to the individual how close one relates.

The Real friend
We have friends, those we consider acquaintances, those we consider friends, and those with whom we are very close. Often times our friends are known as the family we choose, especially those who stay with us through thick and thin. Who are willing to tell us what they think,  to tell us the truth regardless how we react. I am reminded of a proverb, "the wounds of a friend are faithful, the kisses of an enemy cause deceit and destruction" In other words they are free to take risks with us. We are free to take risks with them as well.  Both persons in this relationship benefit from the love and care of  a real friend. 

My Working Relationships
For me, my work situation, limits how vulnerable I can be. Indeed in the workplace it is wise to keep a certain distance from your customer.  My Coworkers directly in my department are in a situation where a certain amount of vulnerability goes with the territory. I have coworkers in my office who learned quite a bit about me over the years.  Some from clinical training days. They may suspect I am gay, but only 3 know for certain. Two are no longer working there, and they were in a position that was "easy" for them to suspect and or figure it out. One, my CPE supervisor told me "I read like a book" Still though my work is clinical, it is church related in a sense and therefore "don't ask, Don't tell is alive and well.

 In my work, I am charged with keeping confidentiality at the highest level possible. People tell me things.  It would be imprudent of me to allow myself to be too open.  Especially with regards to my sexuality. In some cases being too "out" can create a wall and hinder working with people. It can also cost a high price in terms of work opportunities, as I have recently experienced. I don't need to be vulnerable in those situations. Relationships in church are just like those in the workplace. One must be careful how vulnerable to be.

For me, I am blessed to have friends who Ilove and care about and who care about me.  The few who I can truly be myself with are also gay.  They pretty much know me, I can usually share and they tell me the truth straight up. I don't always listen, and have found that I should have. Could have saved me some heart ache, but I'm a hard headed bitch sometimes.  :)

Next Installment What about Romance?

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My Last Word on Chik Fil A

My last word on Chik Fil A.  I find it so interesting to think about the various aspects of this controversy.  Consider the belief systems of both sides that drive strong feelings and reactions. Consider the political debate about the issue of gay marriage in our country.  Consider the financing of lobby groups, political candidates, anti-gay marriage groups, and those who support gay marriage. Consider how we as a  gay community spend our hard earned dollars with companies who have negative or positive policies based on sexual orientation. 

My friend and roommate, who follows this blog, gave me the following cartoon about this

 
Again consider the belief system of this owner, and we have to ask what makes us in the gay community so surprised and outraged enough to protest, boycott, this company?  To be honest, I always liked their product and did not think about how my sexual orientation would be received.  Nor considered how the money I spend there might be used politically against me.  Yet I was not surprised by the statement of the CEO. So many seemed to be surprised.  I have to ask, how many franchisees, and employees of this company are gay? How are they dealing with this? or does it even concern them? I'm sure it did not surprise them.
 
 
A second picture I gleaned off  a blog I follow, Micheal In Norfolk, his blog is in my blog list.  check his blog out, its very informative.
 
 
I don't know where he found this picture or where  this store is or if it was photo shopped, either way I  find it offensive. If a real store sign,and I had been a customer here, I would not be again.  That goes for any company that purposefully propagates hate of any kind toward any individual or group. Hate takes on many forms.
 
So for the foreseeable future, I do not plan to eat at Chik fil a, unless I REALLY want their waffle fries.  I can get a good chicken sandwich elsewhere.
 
Hate of any person or group in any form is not of God, is not "Christian" and I cannot support a hate group or company. Nor can I hate in return but I am only human. So when I see hate like this, I have to figure out a healthy way to respond. This blog is part of that. 
 
 

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Gay Marriage and the Episcopal Church

As a Christian who happens to be gay, I follow with great interest anything denominational organizations say or vote on pertaining to equality for the GLBT community. Three such declarations have occurred this summer.

First, the Presbyterian USA General Conference debated and voted against changing language in favor of same sex unions. Well since the local Presbyteries must ratify it, and then can interpret the rule according to majority vote.  I don't think it makes much difference.

Second, the Methodist Church at its General Conference, decided not to change anything about its policy toward the GLBT community. They even strengthened policy to state that the local churches cannot vote to or publicly disagree with Church policy. If I read the statement correctly.

Then there is the Episcopal Church, which recently approved the official blessings of Same Sex Unions. This denomination was one of the first to ordain women, the first to have an openly gay Bishop. This church is on the cutting edge of cultural change and acceptance. I think they seek to be faithful to Biblical teaching in regards to what is truly important. Model the acceptance Jesus Christ sought to bring.  They are one of few denominations who are open to our community.  Perhaps will have the opportunity to reach our community.  If I were not already credentialed and it was not such a long road to change, I might make a move. I applaud the Episcopal Church welcoming the opportunity to minister to the LGBT community.

Again same sex marriage is about love between two men or two woman who make a family.  I am glad they have done this. 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Its All About Love

Love is patient, love is kind, is not jealous, love does not brag, is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly, it does not seeks its own... Abide Faith, Hope, Love but the greatest of these is LOVE.
I Cor 13: 4,5,13.

The greatest most lasting thing in life is love. The love of a parent for a child, love between friends, romantic love, God's love for His created, the love God gives for us all.. True love does not propagate hate.  The hate that kills a group of people because they are "different." Hate that denies rights because one is "different."

The issue of Gay Marriage has been made to be a religious issue, a political issue, I believe a hate issue...religious bigotry and hate. Marriage is a human institution, God created man and woman, NOT the institution of marriage. 

The root of marriage is supposed to about LOVE and a commitment. If a same sex couple loves each other enough to want to make that type of official commitment...they should be able to. I thank God a couple gay or straight does have to be married to love and be committed to one another. Not being able to marry is not going to stop the commitment. its about a relationship.

I found a video i want to share, its not about gay marriage but what god's love and faith are supposed to be about.

http://youtu.be/3YXINEYdnkY

Love is about relationship, God's love is about a relationship with Him.  Not a set of rules to follow, or a particular organized group to belong to.  Its about LOVE

Friday, August 3, 2012

Chicken and Gay Marriage

Well since I posted my thoughts about Chik Fil A (CFA) seems more has been publicised about the CEO's comments.  There are protests of support and counter protests. In certain parts of the south, folks have responded to a call to show support for CFA, others have responded to a call to counter protest.  In Atlanta its known as the kissing protest.  I am not aware of very large crowds in the CFA's around here.  Though news reports stated business as brisk. There are no reports thus far of counter protests at local stores. RATS, I was hoping there would be a show of support reported around here for gay marriage.

As for me, I have not bought anything from CFA since the statement was made. Partly protest, partly other reasons. A comment was made on my last post (see Eat More Chikin 07/29) about CFA's financial support of legislation against equality. That was very true.  So why should I spend my hard earned dollar with a company that is using that dollar to support groups that lobby for laws that limit my rights as a gay man? 

I have decided  to forgo my weekly  run to CFA for the foreseeable future. I will spend that part of my self care dollar elsewhere. I don't think I can enjoy a CFA meal again anytime soon.

No one should be forced into a corner over another persons belief system! No one should have religion in any form shoved  (excuse me) legislated down their throat.  THIS IS THE UNITED STATES AFTER ALL!!!  Its 2012, we have blended families, married, not married, what constitutes a family has been redefined. A group of friends living together is a family, Extended family living together is a family (unit) and I could go on.

If any couple gay, str8, or whatever love each other enough to make a marriage kind of commitment, be it civil or religious why stop them?  The far right tea party group (and those like them) is creating an atmosphere of fear, hate, more fear and hate. I hope the silent majority will soon speak up and out. Especially get out and vote!

Wow I am meandering on about this issue.  I invite you to comment, (with civility) I also invite you to join me in spending your Chicken dollars elsewhere. Perhaps one day I will be able to legally marry and have it accepted in all 50 states. At least that is my hope, if not for this generation or my life time, but for those in the future.

By the way, legal marriage is a  creation of man.  Creator God did not create the human institution of marriage with all its earthly responsibilities, commitments, and benefits.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Lets Talk About Sex...Survey

Several months ago I took part in an online survey by OUT magazine and Gay.net.  It was a survey about sex, first I wanted to see what kind of questions they asked.  Then I decided to respond with my views, I don't put too much stock in survey results because they often are skewed.  Well they have released the results of that survey and I thought I would highlight some points I find interesting here.
I did not see any data about the average age of the respondants.

There were 13300 respondants

Who took it:  88% gay,
10% bisexual,
1% were questioning,
Of respondants 5 were straight, 4 were lesbian.

Relationship status, 59% are not currently in a relationship
55% are single (I wonder a breakdown by age group?)
25% have a parnter/husband (again age group)
12 % have a boy/ girl friend
7% are dating

Coming Out
31% between 18-22
13% 23-26
13% 30+
17% 13-17
17% still have not

Sexual role
52% are Versatile
28% Bottom
20% Top

Now the survey also covered questions about intimacy which I don't care to report. I don't recall questions concerning communication in relationships, or about safe sex.   A question I wish they had asked, is about fidelity in relationships.  I would like to see something about this, even though not sure I believe a lot of survey results.  Anyway I thought this was interesting.

Monday, October 4, 2010

My Theology: A Word about Confession and Sanctification

Confession is good for the soul is a popular saying. However, it is also very true. there are three types of confession in my life. Confessing my faith, as found in the Book of Confessions, that is confessing what I believe about God, Jesus Christ. Who God is, Father, Creator. It is also confessing my needs, my dependence on God. Then there is confession of sin. Its not confessing in order to be forgiven; rather its confession agreeing with God what he already knows about me. forgiveness of God for my sin has already been given by the grace of God. Confession is only agreeing with God and receiving forgiveness already given. No part of anything I do earns God's favor. God is sovereign and he gives forgiveness to on the basis of his grace. Not on the basis of anything I do or confess. A good example is Isiah 6. The prophet, experiences God, his response is to bow down and confess his sin, his need. God gives forgiveness. The fact that the prophet was in the presence of God is by God's sovereign plan. The prophet's response is to surrender to God's call and plan. Sanctification is our response to god's grace, a process of living a life forgiven and fulfilling God's purpose and will for each of us. Soli Deo Gloria!