When it comes to romance, like everything else in life it
can get very messy, and complicated in a hurry. There are all kinds of romantic
entanglements in life. We find everything
from a one night stand, a “no strings attached” sex partner, a friend with
benefits, to a serious love relationship with variations of all the above. There are strictly platonic, monogamous, and
open relationships. All these are alive and well in 2012 no matter what your sexual preference. It all depends what one wishes for, but
finding anyone of these can lead to frustration, disappointment, and heartbreak.
I am acquainted with several gay couples who have
relationships like listed above. One thinks of themselves as monogamous, but in
reality they are not. They know they are
not; it’s ok as long as the other does not “know” about anything his partner
does outside their relationship and vice versa.
These two went to Las Vegas and exchanged rings in a commitment ceremony,
and they have been together 15 years. Another
couple has been together 12 years, are in an open relationship. This apparently works for them; this is not
what I am looking for. Though at one
time, I thought I could consider an open relationship for the “right” man. In honesty, If one came along, I might still
consider it…for love, could I handle this? I don’t know.
Another aspect I read about and hear about is the amount of
cheating that goes on. Even among “committed” couples. Some say its “natural” to cheat, it helps the
relationship. It seems there is an idea of finding out what
the next guy has to offer, even though there is some kind of “love” between one
and the current guy. There seems to be unsettledness
in life. There is also the concept that, “I’m going to cheat on him before he
cheats on me. Or because I know he is cheating” There are a few others I am acquainted
with who work hard at their commitment and relationships and it works out. The common thread among these couples who
have stayed together is a commitment to each other that is grounded by love for
each other. One calls it an
unconditional love.
Another thing I have seen both in those I have chatted with,
and in my work at the Hospitals. There
is an amount of abuse in relationships. The
abuse can be emotional, financial, physical or a combination of all three.
Sometimes it is “put up with” because he loves me, or I need him. Who else will have me? I don’t care; there is no excuse for abuse,
or living with abuse if one is aware of it.
Another aspect in gay relationships are the number of
married men, who think of themselves as “straight or bisexual” who sneak off to
have affairs with gay men. There are
quite a few, most justify it by saying they can’t help themselves. In my opinion, they are in denial and lying
to themselves, their wives, and lovers about their sexuality. I don’t believe in bisexuality, I never hear
of gay men of sneak off to have an affair with a woman. Some legitimately have not dealt with their
sexuality, and find themselves at a stage in life where they are confronted
with it. They don’t know how to handle it.
As you can see life relationships, romantic entanglements
can be messy, complicated and a lot of work. But I believe they are worth the
effort, they are needed and essential to living a full life. Gay or straight.
Next That Relationship Thing: My Personal Story.
