It's A Date!

Last night I had a dinner date!  With a guy who responded to an ad I placed on Craigslist.  We had been exchanging emails, then texts and phone conversations.  We met at Ruby Tuesday for a nice meal and conversation.  I think it went well...so why am I not more enthusiastic? 

Well I had the feeling he was not that comfortable, in our conversation he revealed that he is a preachers kid. So I felt comfortable telling him what I do for my living.  He did not appear freaked out, which is a big positive.  We had talked about our hope of finding someone special to be in our lives.  So we decided to explore the possibilities. He is 35, and a bookkeeper, has an established life, never been married. His father Pastor's a church locally. Thing is he made the statement that he wants a boyfriend on the "DL", I understand not being out to his family in his situation, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the whole DL thing. I need to talk with him further about this.  He said he is not out, which I understand.

I guess my concern is, I spent so much of my life uncomfortable with my sexuality, that I'm not sure I want a relationship that reminds me of those days; Or puts me back in the closet in anyway.  Not that I want the world to know, its not their business any way.  My impression is he does not want me around, if anyone he knows is nearby.  I don't want to close the door on him, so I will be available to explore the possibilities, ask my questions and discuss the issues.

Monday Medley: Beauty and a Beat

Good Monday to you, hope you had a great weekend.  Yesterday, I participated in the Annual Memorial at the Hospital, it was nice.  I thought I might have a hard time with it since there has not been a service for my mother yet.  However, I did not, and had several things to do in the service so I think that helped.

This Monday I have shopping to do, among  the things to purchase will be a phone, I am deciding between Samsung Galaxy S III, or Samsung Note which has a much bigger screen but also costs about $100.00 more but it might be worth it.  Plus some things to get for Christmas.

Today I have been debating whether to share Christmas music or something else.  I think with all the Christmas music being played around, I'm not going to add to that yet.  I will wait closer to Christmas.  Today I'm sharing the song Beauty and a Beat for Monday Medley.

 http://youtu.be/lz1XFzv2Gd0

Second Sunday in Advent: The Candle of Peace

Today we light the Second Candle of Advent, the Candle of Peace. We remember the prophets who spoke of the coming of Christ, of how a Saviour would be born, a king in the line of King David. The prophet Isaiah called Christ "the Prince of Peace". They told us how he would rule the world wisely and bless all the nations.

When Jesus came he taught people the importance of being peace-makers. He said that those who make peace shall be called the children of God. When Christ comes to us he brings us peace and he will bring everlasting peace when he comes again. We light the Candle of Peace to remind us that Jesus is the Prince of Peace and that through him peace is found.

 

Today i participated in the Annual Memorial Service at the Hospital,  One of the things I did was to pronounce the Benediction.  In my prayer I wish the people to be blessed, may God's face shine upon them may He give you His Peace.

 

I wish you all Peace this season of Advent and Christmas.

 

 

Dear Santa: My Wish List 2012

Christmas 2012 Wish List

Dear Santa,

Its been a long time since I have written you, years in fact. This year I have a list of wishes and hopes for Christmas and 2013.  Its been a rough year, I hope it gets better.  I think it will, time does heal or actually helps to create a new normal from the grief or the grief changes to something else.  Not sure what though.  Don't worry, I'm not going to ask for world peace, or to win the lottery or anything like that. Although your a Saint, and have the ear of a certain someone.

My wishes for this Christmas:
First I ask for a position with one of the Hospitals, where I have regular daytime hours and BENEFITS!
Second, I ask for the funding to finish my graduate degree.
Third, I ask for my friend to be cancer free for the rest of his life.
Fourth, I ask for a boyfriend under my tree.

Now for other things.
A new Galaxy sIII would be awesome
A new suit
A new pair of tennis shoes by Nike
Casual shirts, jeans, slacks,
Cruise Control for my car.

My hope for 2013
 Not falling off any cliffs!
A more stable economy.
DOMA over turned.
Gay marriage in my state
 So Santa can you come through one more time?  Anything on this list would be wonderful.

Thank you and I will leave milk and cookies  

The Master of Theological Studies

Well I have spent time reading degree programs online, trying to find a degree I can do online. I found two programs that offered most of what I need and want. I decided to work on the application for a Master of Theological Studies.  The school is a two hour drive from here, but offers online options for study. This school is a Baptist School but affiliated with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, and Alliance of Baptists.  Both groups are more moderate and promote equality for sexual orientation. I checked the Mission Statement and Covenant, the Student Handbook and saw nothing that concerned me...at least thus far.  The application requires 2 references, I have not seen anything about church endorsement.  It also requires a 1000 word essay answering questions about what the degree will help me accomplish, and why I chose this school. An interview with faculty is also required. Something I like about this particular program is it offers 3 elective course opportunities. There is a course elective that is a Pastoral Counseling Practicum I would love to take, it offers a course in crisis intervention as well. Those would be two practical electives.  One thing I don't like is the Biblical Language requirement, at least it just requires one language in a  two course sequence. However, it will be to my advantage for any further work I might wish to do. Still I would prefer to use those hours toward pastoral counseling or theology. Unfortunately, I am told my Clinical Pastoral Education will not transfer into this program.  Below is the breakdown of courses

One of the following two course language sequence in the Biblical studies area:

MAB1121 introduction to Biblical Hebrew I

MAB1122 introduction to Biblical Hebrew Il or

MAB1521 New Testament Greek I

MAB1522 New Testament Greek ll

Required courses in the Biblical Studies area:

MAB1111 lntroduction to the Old Testament I

MAB1112 lntroduction to the Old Testament ll

MAB1511 lntroduction to the New Testament I

MAB1512 lntroduction to the New Testament ll

Required courses in the Historical/Theological Studies area:

MAHT2111 lntroduction to the Christian Tradition I

MAHT2112 lntroduction to the Christian Tradition ll

MAHT2311 Christian Theology I

MAHT2312 Chriistian Theology ll

MAHT2410 lntroduction to Christian Ethics

MAHT2650 World Religions 

One the following courses in the Biblical studies or Historical/Theological area:

MAB1070 Models of Biblical lnterpretation

MAB1OSO Topics of Biblical interpretation

MAB1091 Biblical lnterpretation in the Church

MAHT2312 Theology of the Church

MAHT2411 Christianity and Culture

MAHI2622 Perspectives on Global Christian Movements

MAHT2652 Jesus in a Pluralistic Age

Three Elective or specialization courses from the M.T,S. program options:

MAXXXX Electives

MA4090/99 Thesis or Comprehensive Exam

Total semester hours required for degree program completion: 51 semester hours. With what I have that will transfer in should bring my required courses to I hope 14.  This looks like a good program.

Monday Medley: Don't You Worry Child

Its Monday again.  The first Monday of December with 22 more days until Christmas! There has been a lot on my mind the past few days, weeks even. Not just about academics, but things in my professional and personal life.  Its seems often no matter how I try, the personal and professional seem to intersect in some way or another. Just have to minimize and live with it.  Yesterday's work was like book ends, started with a crisis, normal work during the day, a long drawn out crisis in the evening ending with a crisis early in the morning. Typical day for me I guess.

I have decided the school I am going to apply to, I will share more about that later.  The program is much better in so many ways than the one I had wanted to apply to.  I still need to reread the mission statement, and check the schools policies. I think it will work out, its not online, but some courses can be online.  There a few things I am concerned about, the cost, travel, transferring credits, and so forth.

Well here is a song I like, Don't You Worry Child" by Swedish House Mafia

http://youtu.be/r1MN4pR5wXM


 

First Sunday in Advent

Many churches follow a tradition each year of lighting candles on an Advent Wreath. Each Sunday during Advent, a different candle is lit along with an explanation of its meaning. By the fourth Sunday in Advent all color candles are lit, then on Christmas Eve the center candle or Christ Candle is lit. See picture below

The first candle lit on the Advent wreath is called the Candle of Hope. The Scripture teaches that Jesus Christ brings hope to all human kind.  Jer 29:11 God has a plan for each of us, the latter part of the verse state the reason "to give us a future and a HOPE" This was to remember the fulfillment of the prophesy given in Issiah 9:6
⁶ For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

So today we lit the Candle of Hope

 

Tuesday Rambles: Career Thoughts

I continue to consider my future, completing my degree, and work as a Chaplain. I completed two online career assessment tools, which provided similar results.  I am best suited for a helping profession such as Social Service, ie counseling, religious support, or a teaching career.  I found it interesting I scored high on administration, high on persuasive skills, high on intuitiveness amongst others. It has helped to know I am a track that is good for me. Just have to find the right fit in job and education. I am not second guessing my call, or gifting, but I am questioning the direction for my future.  I may do an online spiritual gift test as well and see if that has changed any, also how it compares with the career assessment.  I am looking at other types of work in  counseling, aftercare in a funeral home setting, or even some type of teaching position.

I have done a little online research into schools and their degrees.  I am looking at more moderate to liberal seminaries including a few in my state. One thing is clear, whichever I choose, it will be at a significantly higher cost.  I will consider it the financial cost of being true to myself and the one I believe in. Specific degrees I am considering are...

Master of Theological Studies, two programs I like, one is 52 credit hours, the other is 60 credit hours.  Both require one Biblical language (2 courses), which I am not crazy about, I would rather take a pastoral counseling or pastoral  theology course with those hours.

There is an Master of Christian Leadership at one of the schools, which is 52 credit hours that might meet my need. Another school has a Master of Religious Education (60 credit hours) it can be done on a Friday/Saturday format.  Each of these would give me the credits I need for Certification on the Associate level with the Association of Professional Chaplains. As well as say I hold a Master degree.  Which is a good place to start.

I am not considering a 90 some credit Master of Divinity, since I am already ordained. Also under consideration is some type of counseling degree that would give me a credential toward pastoral as well as bereavement counseling. Originally I was thinking of just adding on courses as continuing education. Or toward the additional credits I need for full Board Certification. This is quite a process.

Looking back I do so wish I had the strength and self awareness to come out when I was young.  I would have had more time making these career decisions! However, I have to believe things come about in life on God's time not my time.

Monday Medley: Take You There

Happy Monday!  Its now the start of the Advent Season, already here.  I have seen quite a few houses decorated with lights, and I noticed in my complex a number of apartments with lights up already.  As for me, I am not ready to decorate for Advent and Christmas yet this year. Not sure I will decorate much this year, maybe outside...Maybe if I get in the mood. No Christmas music yet either.

Today I am recovering from an on call night with not much sleep, the particular Hospital I worked yesterday was very busy in the ED some extremely sick folks. Kept me down there most of the day and part of the night.  Stayed tuned  to the blog for a continued discussion of education and career choices. 

Today I'm posting a song by Sean Kingston, "Take You There"


http://youtu.be/axq1jQTk84w


 

The Wrong Question to Ask!

Several days ago I made mentions of a problem with my planned application for graduate study.  Well here are the details...I found an online degree program that had everything I was looking for. it was affordable too. I even discovered my employer provides $2500 a year in tuition reimbursement for my job classification! So I was all set to apply, reading through the online application, I discovered a problem.  There are a series of questions, petty standard like have you been convicted of a felony, are you a citizen, then the question I just do not like or want to answer.  In fact I will not answer, and will not be applying to this school or other schools that ask this question.

The question;  Have you EVER engaged in Heterosexual misconduct or Homosexual behavior? i.e. engage in sex, going to gay clubs, gay chat rooms, talked about gay issues, basically are you a homosexual?  Say what??  Let that one sink in a minute....  and I thought don't ask don't tell was alive and well in the church.  Not the SBC.

Now it crossed my mind to answer the question with a NO.  However, that would be putting myself back in the closet, it would be a lie and counter productive.  Now I also thought about saying yes, but this also would be counter productive.  I am certain it would disqualify my admission and could get back to my home church.  I do not want to confirm any one's suspicions.  Then also I don't think its any one's business what my sexual preference is.

Not only do they basically ask about one's sexuality, to out oneself, they couple it with a misconduct question!  That's the SBC for you. They firmly believe people like me are hell bound, regardless!  Not gonna move them on that one either.  I checked another SBC seminary and it had the same series of questions.  I am disappointed at this, but not going to let it stop me.  I will find a school where its not important. 

A friend sent me a link to United Church of Christ seminaries, since they are open and affirming. I'm looking at them, along with a couple of more liberal seminaries here in my state. Two offer a combination of online and on campus options. The Online option is important to me.

Anyone have any suggestions?  I will continue this discussion in future posts. 

 

Happy Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving 2012  Today has been a very good day, I have cooked most of it, when I say cook,  I baked bread, a cake, made stuffing, and roasted a turkey breast to have as leftovers.  Oh and I made gravy.   Tonight its off to a friends for Thanksgiving celebration! I'm taking the stuffing, gravy, and baked goods with me. It should be a great meal. 

This is the first Thanksgiving without my mother, so its different. Still there is much to be thankful for!  Health, work, employment, a roof over one's head, food, clothing, medications, a car to get from place to place.  Then there are my friend's and family I am thankful for those close to me God has brought into my life.  A lot has changed in my life since last Thanksgiving, but that is life right?

Oh I will NOT be out shopping tonight or tomorrow for that matter.  I avoid Black Friday! Hope you enjoy it if you go, just be safe!

A Scripture for today is...
Psalm 136:1-3: 136:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,for his steadfast love endures forever. 2 Give thanks to the God of gods,for his steadfast love endures forever. 3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords,for his steadfast love endures forever. . . .

 

Transgender Rembrance Day 2012

In honor of Transgender Remembrance Day.  Let us all think of those who have been killed or injured  simply for being Transgender.  For daring to be in public as they view themselves.   For seeking recognition and love as they are for who they are.
Let our community continue to stand against this kind of  discrimination, and hate.  Please take a moment and pray for those who seek to be true to who they are.
Anti gay hate crimes and discrimination need to be included in all non discriminatory laws.

Lets stop the hate!