Post valentine Day Thoughts

Yesterday my mother's memory was very strong. Our mother's are our first Valentine after all, a mother's love transcends all but agape.  Each Valentine, my mother would bake a delicious chocolate cake in a heart shaped pan. Usually with pink icing,  it was special.  That is a memory I will carry with me and think of each February 14th for the rest of my life. This year it was a memory filled with both sadness and also sweetness. 

Yesterday was also a day where several friends reached out in different ways and cared for me. that was special.

So day by day, piece by piece I continue the work of grief, (which is really just beginning) as do the members of my family whom I think of daily. Each day is better in some way, some days are hard at times, but this too shall pass and cherished memories will remain.  I am glad to say amidst the grief through prayer, Scripture, devotional time there is peace.

Thank you for reading.

Happy Valentines Day!!!

Happy Valentines Day 2012. I hope it finds you with the love of your life, or at least love in your life.

Happy Ground hog Day 2012

I enjoy February, it means the seemingly dead of winter January is over, there is a looking toward spring.  Plus in Feb. we have today Ground Hog Day, Washington's birthday and cherry pie, and of course Valentines day. My mother used to make a chocholate cake in a heart shaped pan for valentine day.  It was a tradition, as was a cherry pie on Washington's birthday. Oh the pleasant memories...

Today Feb. 2, 2012, the ground hog predictions are mixed, Phil saw his shadow, more winter, the on Staten Island and General Lee in the south did not see a shadow, so less winter. It will be interesting to see which one actually happens? 

Either way, I think there will be payback for all these nice warm days we have had.  I do feel for those who make a living in winter.  You know the snow plough drivers, ski resorts, even the teenagers who shovel snow.  However, the lack of cold and wintry weather enabled myself and my sister to travel to our mother's side before she passed away from us.  That was a blessing.

I say Happy Ground Hog day to you!

About My Mother

Early Wednesday morning Jan 25th 2012, my beloved mother passed away very peacfully.  She was 96 and had several health issues, but at her age still had her mind. she was keenly aware of the things that interested her, such as the birds that visited the feeder at her window, the weather and what would be blooming or growing, what should be fixed for dinner according to the time of year, what would be nourishing. The activities of her children and grand children.  Those were important to her.

My Mom had a long, good, life, starting in Montreal, Quebec where she did many things among them, piano, singing in church choirs, and community Oprah.  She was a lady of principle, graciousness, faith, love, a true saint. I will miss her very much.  I rise and call her blessed!

As for me, slowly I will pick up and carry on toward a new normalcy as we call it in grief share. Toward the life that I am called to, the path that is for me. I am comforted by my family, and friends who call and care for me. I am comforted by the memories of a life well lived that spoke life and love into my life. I am comforted by the Scripture where Jesus says "I will never leave you nor will I forsake you"

Mom, I rise and call you blessed before God and humankind.

Soli Deo Gloria

11-11-11 Veteran's Day

Today we celebrate our Veterans!  I recall as a child helping my father fly our flag each Veteran's Day.  I learned about our country, my family heritage, and about the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month 1918, when WWI ended with the Armistice signing. Today we have military members fighting two wars, we have veterans of those and other wars struggling with health issues, finding jobs, and moving forward with their lives. Other than my vote, and voicing my support for our veterans to my senate, and Congress members, there is not much I can do.  However,  I always fly my flag on special days for our nation. Today I continue a tradition my father taught me and I am flying my flag. In honor of the service all our Veterans and military members.  But Especially for the members of my family who have served from the Revolution to current day. I say THANK YOU!

Specifically to James, Branden, Chantal, Charles, George, my father,Thank you.

Also on this day I remember those service members who suffered because of Don't Ask Don't Tell and the policy that was before it.  I celebrate the removal of that barrier.

Enjoy your lifestyle? Freedom? Vote? Thank a Vet!

National Coming Out Day

In honor of National Coming Out Day, I want to say congratulations to all those who are on  their journey of coming out.  Its tough at times, but it DOES get better. To those who have made that journey I say lets keep moving forward. I'm glad I made the journey! I thank all those who have supported and encouraged!

My Three words  "I CAME OUT"  Here is a link to the song "Good Life"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEpEeAPwdgs

Happy October

Its October already! Where has time gone? I remember when I was a child, I was always excited when October came...because of Halloween, dressing up and trick or treating. It was fun and I think it still is. As an adult, I have rediscovered Halloween in the last few years. You see when I was in a fundamental place, Halloween was dispised as a night for the devil and evil things.  in those and many christian circles it still is. Now we still did fall festivities to provide a safe place for children on Halloween night but it was viewed differently.

A few years ago I was on staff at a church that had an All Saints day service, which was a new experience for me and helped me rediscover Halloween. Last year for the first time I participated in Trunk or Treat at my church, you should have seen the elaborate decorating of the trunks, it was fun and most of all a ministry to the kids and their families.  I'm going to participate again this year. Since it is October, I'm including a video by Timbaland I think is appropriate for October. I like Timbaland, he is down to earth.  I hope you enjoy it.

Church Stuff

Rally day has come and gone...for this I am glad. That is the start of the Sunday school year.   It was a great day but a lot of work for all involved.  Well worth it though.  We included a 9/11 remembrance which was very appropriate.  People are funny, some thought the whole service should have been remembering 9/11. that would not have been appropriate, due to the fact it was a regular worship Service and it was Rally Day.  People are people no matter where you go! Oh well that is church.

The speaker for our Senior group next week has had to cancel. So I have been asked if I can be the speaker. I'm going to talk about Chaplaincy.  Though Ive been thinking and perhaps show and tell my Matchbox Toy collection.  hmmm. Have to think about that one.

Happy Labor Day everyone!  Its Labor day weekend here in the U.S.A. The traditional end of summer, School starts in many places on Tuesday. I'm sure many parents will be glad to have their children back in the routine of school, and in a learning environment. Well have a great one everyone.

Happy September! September is the beginning of my favorite four months of the year, They include special days, my birthday, my mother's birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Advent, and Christmas. The Autumn is just a nice time to me. I enjoy the cooler temperatures, changing leaf colors, harvest festivities, church festivals, the sights, aroma's, and sounds of the various holidays. I just love and look forward to the season, as much as I do spring.  September is the start of it all. Happy September! 

Through the Storm

Irene came and Irene went. I am Hurricane weary, it was a long and tedious time waiting out the storm. However, we were blessed. Yes there was flooding, wind damage, power outage. Some folks who own houses on the water had significant damage. But it was not as bad as it could have been. The fact our area had a moderate drought helped, the ground was not saturated as it is north of here. The fact Irene weakened to a category 1 helped. The fact that it jogged slightly west did not help. That meant we had more of the storm to contend with. not just a brushing. There was no damage at my apartment complex (other that limbs) I work in a Hospital so power was restored within hours not days, I live in a critical power grid so it was restored in hours not days. To have an Earthquake, and a Hurricane all in one week!

I pray for the folks in the Northeast who have experienced far more damage and devestation from Irene. It is a truly horrific thing to experience. Living here with the threat of Hurricane land fall is hard enough, to have one come through is another. To have one come through in an area that rarely experiences is something more than even that.

No matter where you go, there will be weather, and forces of nature that impact our lives. There is no escape.

Go Away Irene!!!

Today I have to remind myself what it is about about this area that makes me want to live here! Hurricanes are fearsome, unpredictable, just plain dangerous to person and property! We expect 6-12 inches of rain = flooding, major high tides = more flooding, high winds 60 to 80 miles and hour = down trees and power lines. AND the storm does NOT come on shore here! So we prepare, canned food check, water check, batteries check, radio check. Oh and since I work at a Hospital, I will be there for the duration of the storm. possibly 2 days! At least I will have generator power there! Better food than I could at home under the circumstances...maybe.

Irene is 700 miles wide sustained winds of 115 miles an hour as of this writing. The picture below is what one looks like.

A Very Special Day August 13, 2011

Well, as usual I'm way behind in my blogging. It has been a busy few weeks between work, and travel, a wedding, and travel then back to work. Whew!

Saturday August 13th my precious niece was married! Its hard to believe but she is now a married woman. Seems like just yesterday she graduated High School, she is now in her mid 20's! I was so blessed to be able to attend, and see her walk the isle with her father at her side in his dress whites, and see my handsome nephew escort my sister, his mother, to her seat. It was exciting, and quite a celebration.

It was an outdoor wedding, on the grounds of a castle, yes a castle! The reception took place in the upstairs ball room of the castle. It was a splendid day and evening. I can't think of a serious glitch. Something I have never seen before were chinese lanterns being lit and set aloft in the night sky with the moon as backdrop. What a sight! Below are a few pix of the wedding site, the castle, and the bride and groom's table.

Coming Out Again Part II

Since I introduced this subject in my last post, I want to share that after much thought, and prayer. I decided it was safe, and appropriate for me to come out to the Pastor I work for. So I did! I set a meeting with him, and we sat down and I told him. It does not get any easier, especially with what might be at stake. He did not seem surprised, and we had a good discussion. He was affirming, even stated my being gay maybe part of the reason I was called to the church. "for such a time as this" The only thing he did ask is that if at some point I find myself in a relationship to let him know. So that if it were to come up he can say that he knew.

We had Session, last night. One of the conservative members of the church wrote a letter to the Session asking that there be an official response and position concerning Amendment 10A. This person would like to see the church become part of a "fellowship" of PCUSA churches being formed to "stand for Biblical standards". No action was taken, not much discussion either, I think the focus is on examining the biblical texts involved and going from there.

I have to say my gut tells me this "fellowship" of Churches could be the begining of a new Denomination. Only time will tell.

Coming Out Yet Again! Part I

Sorry for the infrequency of posts, but life is hectic! In previous posts, I have mentioned the church I serve part time. Church work/ministry is a don't ask don't tell kind of working situation for a minister who is gay. As long as they dont know for certain it can work. You may have heard the PCUSA has past Amendment 10 A. Concerning Ordination of both Ruling and Teaching Elders. Although it does not specifically say it, this amendment to the Book of Order or Constitution, could open the door to Ordination of Gay and Lesbian Elders. It removes the marriage between a man and woman clause as well as the fidelity and chastity clause. It puts more emphasis on gifts, call, and preparation as well as making the decsion on ordination a local issue. Rather than mandating who, what, when and where. I thnk its a very good thing and could raise the bar on ordination.

Now this has caused quite a stir in the church, but my parish...not so much. That too is a good thing. It has created a dialogue particularly in the Session.(governing body) The Pastor with whom I serve is very gay friendly, as I said before we have a few members who either are gay or have family who are. Our Session has a Bible study the last 30 minutes of it's monthly meeting. For the next few months Scripture related to the issue of Homosexuality will be examined and discussed. I hope a positive consensus can be reached! Please check back for part two of this post.

Where to begin? My life is so hectic, sometimes barely enough time to sit and take it all in. Other times too much time and I just sit not accomplishing a thing. I don't like either situation. Yet I like the adrenaline of the hecticness of my work? But it takes a toll, physically, mentally, emotional and spiritual. I miss my garden! There needs to be more balance in my life but how do I get there? Im an organizer, I like routine and schedules to follow. However, half my work mandates I hang loose, ready to run at a moments notice. The pager rules the day not the routine or schedule or plan for that particular day. Such is life!

The church seems to introduce a little sanity into hectic workstyle. At least most of the time. I am reminded of the Scripture in Mark where our Lord tells the disciples to come away to a secluded place and rest awhile. To find a way to do that!

wow! Not what I intended to write here tonight, but I suppose I needed to write this.

Books Books and more Books

You don't realize how much stuff you accumulate until you go to move it. In my new place I have a room I am making into a study. Where all my books will be stored, well not all of them some are at the office. There are some books I am going to try and sell. These books, about 10 or 12 are of a verierty I dont use or need anymore. I think I'm going to join this site I've been looking through and see if I can sell them.

I love shopping online for the commentary set I am collecting, and using at the office. I found a used hard back in very good condition for $2.99, it will be $7.00 with shipping! The way to go.

Out In The Park

Yesterday was the annual Pride celebration for our locality. I did not go due to work related issues. Im sorry I missed it, because this year, the festivities were moved to a much larger and more prominant location in the downtown area. In fact it was on the front page of the of the local section of the paper today. In the past it was a little blurb in the Entertainment section. It also warranted mention

in the local TV news! Our local gay community is receiving some positive publicity. Its about time!

Moving Along

May was moving month for me. I moved out of an apartment I had for three years, to a new apartment closer to the job I spend more time with. Wish I could buy a place but its not to be right now.I moved myself mostly with my little car, which was a challenge since it is small. What I was able to do before in 4 trips with my wagon took 10 times longer. Not to mention I could not move things I did before because they just would not fit! Oh well I thank God its done!

Right now I'm just resting a bit before I dive into unpacking and arranging things...Starting with the kitchen. Although I threw away stuff, I suspect more might go. Things I just dont need and have no attachment to.
No my Matchbox collection will NOT be on that list.

At the old place I learned I had to pay for carpet cleaning??? It was clean no spots, I kept it vaccuumed, still hmm. Money out of my pocket that to me should be normal maintence for an apartment. Well I'm tired and on call tonight so I think I'm going to bed.

more later.

Memorial Day Remember

Take a moment to pause and thank God for this great nation and remember that our freedom is not free. It was paid for with the blood of those who died on the field of battle in every war since the Revolution. Those who fought and still fight today for equal rights, Today remember.

Staying Busy

Its been awhile since my last post...AGAIN. Its been a busy month, in addition to working, I have been in the process of moving to a new place. I'm so glad I made the decision to move. Moving is alot of work, I dont have a lot of stuff, or so I thought until started moving it!

I will be closer to everything I've been going to regularly and so much will be in walking distance. On the downside, its farther from two medical centers I go to, but it all balances out in the end.

I hope you all have a good Holiday Weekend!

Carbon Footprint

At church on Wednesday night we began our Spring CHOW, (Church On Wednesday). Theme is being green, I'm using the book "Green Church" (Cokesbury) along with information from "Stewardship of God's Creation."

I found a web site Carbon Footprint.com (http://www.carbonfootprint.com/calculator.aspx) That can calculate your carbon footprint, and suggests ways to reduce that including donations. My focus is what we can do to reduce our individual footprints. Specifically, reduce, reuse, recycle. It is as much spiritual as anything. For instance: Reuse, when I buy something new (a blessing to me)to replace something else, the thing that is replaced is given away, to a cloths closet, or the Salvation Army, or some other organization. Instead of sending it to the landfill. If it is not usable then I try find some other use for it.

My Carbon footprint, According to the above website, I calculated my footprint and it is 14.2 tons of carbon. The average in the U.S.A. is over 20 tons. The goal is to reduce this as much as possible, a world wide goal is to reduce it to 2 tons. So I continue to reduce, reuse, and recycle.

I hope the next five weeks of Spring CHOW will encourage the participants to be better stewards of God's creation.

Happy Easter

What a glorious morning it was this morning! I was on call last night but no calls, which is a mixed bag. The church was full, as you would expect on Easter Sunday, the music was glorious. I hope your Easter is special.
He
IS
RISEN!

HE IS RISEN INDEED!

2011 NOT 1511

This is 2011 and I am so glad! The reason for this is simple, we are post renaissance, post reformation, post industrialization and products of the 20th century.

As a result we have a path to individual freedom and responsibility, a path for anyone to achieve his or her goals. to find their path, their way to life, love, God, or even happiness. For me personally, the opportunity to discover who I am and grow spiritually, emotionally, professionally...My path. More so than I did or could 10 or 15 years ago!

The church where I serve, has a Wednesday Bible study that is a prime example of this. We operate on the premise that this should be the place where one can come and ask any question, share any ideas and thoughts or experience without fear of being ridiculed. what I have witnessed thus far, it is, all are honored. We think deeply,pray hard and usually come up with more questions but we look to the Bible and the Holy Spirit for guidance and are not disappointed. In this group most are from our church, we have some who attend regularly from the Catholic church, the Methodist and Lutheran churches in our neighborhood. Some of the conversations we have, the ideas we consider, if it were 1511 and not 2011 would have us burned at the stake I'm sure. There is a freedom in that!

Yet, it is 2011, and still in parts of this world we have terrible oppression. Economic, political as well as religious oppression. In parts of this world the oppression of women and children is a way of life. There are death threats that are carried out based on religious belief. Even in these United States we have various forms of religious oppression, and its OK because of religious freedom. Or is it? In most cases folk submit themselves to it through a set of ideals they are taught and can escape when they become enlightened. In some cases if they are allowed to ask, and seek...At least in theory. Yet there are parts of our country where a set of beliefs are held to, if left unchecked, will carry our nation and legal system down a very difficult path. We must require all persons no matter of religion, race, creed, to live by our laws, and under our constitution. Yes, I am talking about Islamic communities in the United States. I hope and pray for a reformation of Islam, especially of fundamentalist Islam. Then we have people like the leader in Florida who burned a Quran, and the Westboro Baptist folk who picket everyone who is different than them. How does that show God's love? or love at all? It serves only to propagate hate often under freedom of religion, speech.

Galatians 3:28 and following "In Christ...there is no longer, Jew or Greek, Slave or Free, male or female, all are one in Christ..."

Think about it please.

The Library

As a student, teacher, one with an inquisitive mind, I have a personal library of various theological books. In the past these books consisted mostly of conservative authors, until I began to grow out of that part of my life. Now when I buy a book it usually is from a more liberal and or reformed perspective. Lately I'm interested in reading about universal and quantum theologies. The teaching at my church has challenged me to think outside my baptist box more so than I already do.

As a result I have started purchasing a series of commentaries for my personal use. the Interpretation Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching. I am buying one a month, possibly more depending on the price I find. That is the fun part, searching Amazon, Barnes and Noble, CBD, for the best prices. I have purchased used in like new condition for as little a $7.00! The best way to buy.

I am also trying to sell a few commentaries I have that are bits and pieces of very conservative authors series. I have a complete set of New Testament by Hendricksen which I like and will use. I also have a set of Old Testament that is technical and useful in lesson preparation.

This has been and continues to be an interesting process growth for me.

Sundry thoughts

Spring is here! I think, we do have a cold front coming through tonight. Who knows what that will bring us. Just a few weeks ago we had summer like weather one day, then winter like weather the next day, complete with sleet and snow flurries!

There are a number of things I have wanted to write about recently, but have lacked the time and exact words. Amongst them about the church I serve, my thoughts about things political, and there is the Rob Bell controversy.(I like Rob Bell) I will get to these at some point soon.

Next week is Holy Week, it will be a busy week! I am looking forward to the various services, but its extra work. I will be serving Lord's Supper Thursday night,it will be by intinction, and we will have a dinner afterward. The Session at my church has allowed me to serve Lord Supper, (I have served twice) and also serve as Liturgist. Both usually done by Presbyterian Elders.

My spring flowers are blooming, I see flowers and trees blooming all over. its such a pretty time of year. Hope you can enjoy it.

DONNA SUMMER - STAMP YOUR FEET remix 08

I really like this song. Sometimes when I am discouraged about things in my life, be it work, health, finances or other issues that bother me. I will look this song up on the internet and play it. I hope you enjoy it. Its a good thing.

Friday Musings

After a brief foray into the 50's, the thermometer is starting to plunge again. A cold front came through last night and whisked away the warmth. One nice thing is it took the clouds with it! At least the predicted "rain/sleet/snow" never materialized. It moved north for all those in New England who have already had more snow than is typical in winter.

One interesting point, Yesterday I noticed a flock of Robins in the apartment yard. Wow back so soon? Just passing through? Does this mean an early spring? Well who knows.
On another note, I attended a meeting last night at a Hospital for which I work. Chaplains are an interesting bunch! I heard another Hospital (not in a system I work for) Is looking for a flex pool Chaplain. Its close to my apartment, but I'm not interested. Its only 8 hours a week, plus some on call. The interesting thing is they have had 50 or more applicants. People seem to be working hard to get into this field, but around here the jobs are few and you can forget about full time.
With Healthcare Reform? Budget cuts? Who knows

My Plantdom!

Plants are wonderful, soothing, and enjoyable. I was looking around at my plants, and counted 20 plants in my container garden both inside and outside. Its quite a task to water them all; but I love it. One day some will be planted in my own yard. I have a few plants flowering right now. (pictured below) among them are a Begonia (brought in from the patio in the fall) an African Violet, my Peace Lilly just finished a cycle of flowers. Outside I have three containers of Pansies in blossom, and my Camellia has numerous blossoms. My newest addition is a little Holly plant. I also notice my Rhododendron has a few big blossom for this spring.

The Power of the Internet

This past week we heard in the news the results of what is being called the "Twitter Revolt." Where Twitter was used to encourage, organize a revolt against the repressive regime in Tunisha. You know what? IT WORKED! Wow, the internet has grown to become such a powerful tool. The key word here is tool. Twitter is something I have thought was useless progigation of trivial information. Here is accomplished something very big! It can be a good thing or it can be not so good to down right dangerous. a positive tool, to find a job, a place to live, research for education, research products. It can also be a tool for negative as we here so much more about. The question is where do we go from here? That is answer I am looking for. My hope is the internet and social networks will be used more often for good.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

A Happy 2011 to everyone! I hope you had a safe and exciting celebration. Me? I actually slept in 2011. That is until I was called at 02:00. When I was on the road, I noted there were quite a few cars on the road at that hour of the night. People on way home from parties.

I hope 2011 is filled with positive experiences and good health, and anything negative is out numbered by the positive!
I encourage you just as I encourage those for whom I work, to keep praying, (I Thes. 5:17) Pick a new devotional to read through this year,have a reading plan, dig a little deeper into the Scripture. Consider using a study guide or commentary to help with this. Dig deeper, grow stronger in 2011.

Be Blessed and safe!

Christmas 2010

To all who view this blog, here is wishing you a blessed and merry Christmas! Be safe, may you have all the things that make Christmas special for you.
Let Your Light Shine! Peace

The Purpose of Being Sick

Sometimes your body says "Just STOP" I am there and its both restful but frustrating because there is sooo much to accomplish! Decorating I should do so I have Christmas at home. Shopping to do so I can get a box or two off in the mail. Then there are work related projects, its Advent after all! I did get the Advent Devotion completed, ended up doing three printings! I participated in Bethlehem Walk on Sunday, the local TV news came through and I was on the local news! Of course they did not broadcast my lines, I was a Rabbi. There are extra hours at the Hospitals too. I missed the Christmas lunch there! grr I hate missing out of food. However, I am stuck at home with no voice, and a cough. The good news is I don't have a fever, don't "feel" sick. Just low and squeaky voice, with periods of tiredness and the occasional cough attack. It is improving but slowly. I guess my body is saying it needs rest, no on-call, no meetings, no 12 hour shift. Just research online, reading blogs, napping, catching up on a book about Quantum Theology. more napping, feeding my news Habit and more napping. BORING, I'm ready to go back to work.

Busy Season

December is here! Wow where did time go? Next thing we know it will be January. This is the first Advent and Christmas season at the new church job. This church is unique, they do so many different and very creative things. This weekend is a gift to the community program about the birth of Christ. This program is done together with the Catholic church across the street! Next week there is the Christmas concert, lessons and Carols on the 19th. That night we have our staff dinner at the pastor's home. Christmas Eve, there will be two services. I will be on call for the Hospital both Christmas and New Years Eve. then I am working in house for both Holidays. So on Christmas I will be on call from the church for the Candlelight service. New Year's Eve I will be on call from a friends house.

It will be a busy month! so ready...set...GO!

The Elephant in the Room: Election Results

Now that the election is over, and we are a few days out of it. I want to comment. First, I will be very interested to see the data on voter turn out once all the numbers are in and tabulated. There is a lot of talk going around about the anger of the voter, but anger at what or who? The fact is if you look at WHO is going to Washington and be in the majority; its the SAME old faces. The same old politics, the same old policies. One race, Ohio voters are sending to congress the man who was Budget Director in the Bush Whitehouse. The Republican party will be in control of the House. I strongly believe it was these Republican policies of less government oversight that brought about the various conditions which led to our economic crisis. These angry voters are sending the same old same old back to Washington!
You can do the same thing over again and expect a different result.

October 29

Today is October 29, a day just like any other except today would have been my father's birthday. Oct 29, 1897 he would have been 113. He died suddenly April 9th 1976. A lot of thoughts going through my mind today, about life, goals, family, hopes, and some fear as well. Fear of what might happen, or what might not happen that I hope will happen. I know I'm vague but don't want to be specific, I can't really put it into words.

Faith is what is important to me on days like today. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I know the one who holds my future. Jer 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, Plans not for calamity but for your welfare to give you a future and a hope"

A Great Project

The It Gets Better video project is a great and amazing project. I listened to a number of the videos I noticed the number and range of people participating is of a wide variety. The President, Secretary of State, religious leaders from differing backgrounds, including Gene Robinson. Then there are the regular folks who are willing to share their stories of how it gets better. All in an effort to give hope and encouragement to anyone struggling with their sexuality, and thinking of harming themselves.

you can view them at http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject#p/f/571/zpOq1HMDQKw or Google "it gets better if that does not work"

I struggled for years, but thankfully never got to the place where I considered harming myself. When I finally did get to the place where I accepted myself, the peace I experienced is indescribable. It truly does get better.

There will always be tyrants, and bullies, but we can change how we allow them to impact us. Perhaps one day gay bashing in any form will become a hate crime in every state and locality.

Crazy Politics

In yesterday's newspaper there was a small article about the republican congressional candidate in Dallas Texas. Stephen Broden, a local Pastor running for the seat, made the statement on T.V. that if the election did not produce a change in leadership he would not rule out the violent overthrow of the government as an option. WHAT??? This is the United States, we don't do that here. We have a system of elections, all people have to do to change the government is get out and vote for their candidate. That has to be the most anti-democracy statement I have heard from a candidate running for congress. That is the same kind of extremism as the Taliban. So if you don't like the leadership, the election does not go your way, you can violently overthrow them? What about the majority who voted? There is a very vocal minority who is trying to push its will on people based on religious or political beliefs. We ALL don't believe the same way. Its our right.

I certainly hope this person does not get elected. Just what our country does not need in my opinion.

What about Tolerance?

What about tolerance? I used to think that in order to be tolerant I had to compromise my belief. How wrong I was! Tolerance is about accepting, working with, and assisting a person as they are, where they are. It appears society is becoming more and more intolerant. Much of this intolerance exists along the lines of religion, and sexual orientation. Consider a small church pastor being thrust on the world stage for his threat to burn the sacred book of another faith group. Consider the volatile minority of a faith group in its persecution of women, and people who do not belong or fit their mold. Recently there was the brutal attack on a homosexual person, at the same time a political candidate articulating what I consider to be hate toward the homosexual community. We have a political group vocalizing fear, anger, and again I think hate. This list could go on and on.

Where is tolerance? This is the 21st century after all. My growth both spiritual and personal occurred when I learned to accept myself the way God made me. Then I became open and accepting of people whoever they are. Additionally my work in the Hospital greatly helped me grow. Now I am a reformed Christian, or in the words of a Biblical scholar reformed and being reformed. I suggest that if folk would look beyond themselves and their group and think through what they believe and why. Perhaps find a way to accept something about them-selves. They might be more open, and perhaps find more peace and satisfaction in life.

A Code and a Crisis

Recently, I responded to a code blue in the ER. I never know what I'm walking into when the pager goes off. I walked into the room where the patient was, everything seemed "normal" for a code. The staff was busy caring for the patient, doing the work they do. Suddenly outside the room a colleague was frantically wanting to enter. I had to restrain this person. That is when I heard who the patient was.

One look confirmed the patient was one of our own...I knew the patient. This is not the first time this has happened over the years, and it wont be the last. The patient was young, vibrant, with young children. I spent hours with family, several coworkers, and doctors came by. This community pulls together and supports one another in the moment of need yet,we must put off dealing with our own issues. After all its the ER, there is always the next patient who needs us. The hardest was helping family try to explain to the children why "mommy wont wake up"

The Hospital had a memorial service in the chapel, and did a Critical Incidence debriefing as well. Its seems like everything should stop, at least pause for a moment to reflect. The reality is life keeps moving and we keep moving with it. Yet circumstance and our body and spirit demands we pay attention to our emotions, our health, our spirit. If not how can we be there for others?

In memoriam.

My Theology: A Word about Confession and Sanctification

Confession is good for the soul is a popular saying. However, it is also very true. there are three types of confession in my life. Confessing my faith, as found in the Book of Confessions, that is confessing what I believe about God, Jesus Christ. Who God is, Father, Creator. It is also confessing my needs, my dependence on God. Then there is confession of sin. Its not confessing in order to be forgiven; rather its confession agreeing with God what he already knows about me. forgiveness of God for my sin has already been given by the grace of God. Confession is only agreeing with God and receiving forgiveness already given. No part of anything I do earns God's favor. God is sovereign and he gives forgiveness to on the basis of his grace. Not on the basis of anything I do or confess. A good example is Isiah 6. The prophet, experiences God, his response is to bow down and confess his sin, his need. God gives forgiveness. The fact that the prophet was in the presence of God is by God's sovereign plan. The prophet's response is to surrender to God's call and plan. Sanctification is our response to god's grace, a process of living a life forgiven and fulfilling God's purpose and will for each of us. Soli Deo Gloria!

My Theology: Grace

Next I need to tackle the issue of forgiveness, grace and salvation. In some Christian circles it is taught that the homosexual has no place in God's kingdom. either by being or living. The teaches there must be complete repentance and abandonment of anything to do with one's "forbidden" sexuality. Often therapy to change a person from gay to straight if offered or in some cases demanded. I do not want this writing to become a commentary on those beliefs and practices. Rather I am setting forth what I believe, what I have learned through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Therefore, I have to state, the only thing that separates us from God is sin. The only thing that separates one eternally from God; is rejecting God's offer of salvation by grace through Jesus Christ. Romans 8:1, tells us once one is in Christ, “there is now no condemnation”. Further, Ephesians 2: 8-9 teaches that “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; and that not as a result of works that no one should boast.”

To say otherwise means that God's grace, the work of Christ on the cross is not sufficient. To say that would mean our God is not as sovereign as we say he is. This is not the truth or the power of God I have experienced in my life. Jesus spoke as recorded in John 14:6a, and said "He is the way the truth and life. The Bible also states in John 8:32 "you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". The there is Romans 10:9-10, which very clearly state that if one hears, believes and responds he or she is redeemed. So this speaks to me that God's grace covers each person according to their need of grace. The who so ever will receive will be received. When we are received we are sealed with the Holy Spirit according to Eph 1:13. What Jehovah Tsidkenu does is for eternity.

My Theology: Born this way

The question I wanted an answer for, that I sought to understand is; where does homosexuality come from? Is it a choice? Is it learned? Or is it something more basic like in the DNA that makes us?

First, I can say without any doubt in my mind and heart that homosexuality in NOT a choice. Think of it, who would choose to be someone that is discriminated against? That is thought of by many as “contrary to nature”? Who would choose not to have the right to marry the one he or she loves? In many sectors of society be looked down upon? Who? Plus if there were a choice one could choose not to, and change. There is scientific data which I am told shows same sex attraction is not learned or chosen. It is in one’s make up. It’s a chromosome gene.

Why? What is the purpose? That is a question for which I have no answer other than through the eyes of my faith to say… the Sovereignty of God. It’s a God thing.

Two places in the Old Testament come to mind when thinking of this. First, Jeremiah 1:5a which states “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. And before you were born I consecrated you” Not trying to be out of context, I must note this is referring to Jeremiah’s call to ministry. However, it also shows us how God the father knows us and he is active in our creation. In forming us; and knowing us.

Further, Psalm 139 in its entirety. The first portion talks about God’s knowledge of us, verse 1, “Lord you have searched me and known me” verse 2b, “You understand my thoughts from afar” The in verse 3 “You are intimately acquainted with all my ways” Wow! The passage goes on to describe how God knows us, there is no place on earth we can go to escape the gaze of God or his knowledge of us.

In verse 13 the Psalmist writes, “For you formed inmost parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb.” This is the most compelling point for me when the scripture states that the God of the universe formed my inmost parts, wove me. Couple that with the verse from Jeremiah, and I understand better. God formed, made, molded my inmost parts would include my DNA, the chromosome gene, my personality, my gifting and ability, and my sexuality. In his Sovereign knowledge of me God knew from the very beginning I would be gay. He placed the substance there in me that would make me who I am.

To say God the father would not do that or could not do that is to say God the father is not as is Sovereign as we say he is. I believe by faith that God created me gay, that I was born to be a Christian gay and consecrated from the womb to the work I do. Gay or straight, I believe the same is true for you too.

My Theology Lev 20:13

There are a number of issues to talk about when considering biblical theology from a Christian gay perspective. Among them is what to think about Leviticus 20:13? Is homosexuality learned or in one’s make up? Is being or acting gay a sin which is unforgivable? It was not until I began wrestling with my own theology, studying scripture and reading various theologians and listening to the Holy Spirit speak to my heart, instead simply accepting what I heard or was taught; did I begin to understand what our Lord was saying to me. What it meant to me, develop my own systematic theology.

Let me say a word about my method of study. In examining scripture I usually read the passage in several versions to see the differences in wording. Then often I would read several commentaries coming from differing views ie conservative to more liberal. I also used resources to understand culture and history.

This writing is my attempt to verbalize in a systematic way my theological belief relating to homosexuality. It will be presented in several different posts dealing with specific scripture and issues. This is not nor is it meant to be an academic presentation, but rather a statement of what I have come to accept and believe as a Christian who is gay. My personal growth points in coming out.

Leviticus 20:13. “If a man sleeps with a man as with a woman, they have committed an abomination. They must be put to death, their blood in on their own hands” (HSB)

Often this verse is lifted out of the passage and used as if it stands alone. To do this ignores verses 1 through 21 of the passage plus the passages which precede and follow. That is never good exegesis. When considering Jewish law, history and context, several issues are raised. This was written in a time and culture when the nation of Israel was concerned about survival, purity, and idol worship. In the surrounding nations there was idol temple prostitution both heterosexual and homosexual often used and accepted as a form of worship to particular Idols. This was in direct violation of "you shall have no other God before me" commandment. Also if men had sex with men or women with women, there was no procreation for the nation. This verse is part of a passage of scripture that is speaking to the issues of procreation, aspects of Idol worship, ceremonial uncleanliness. Many of the rules set forth in this and other passages like it (such as not wearing wool, eating shell fish, or various meats) are no longer used or relevant to the life of God’s people.

To take this verse and used it without consideration of the rest of the passage, examining history, culture takes it out of context and often makes it a pretext. I don’t believe this single verse speaks to the issue facing the church and Christian homosexuals in the 21st century.

The New Thing

It has been a while since my last post! I need to be more consistent as I used to be.

Well, here it is. I know better than to say never. But I did. In past posts I said no to church employment, no to going in that direction. Well, our Lord has such a sense of humor, such a way of guiding, leading, teaching.

In May I joined the staff of a local Presbyterian church as the part time Coordinator of Christian Education for Adults. Funny uh? A Baptist minister serving a Presbyterian church! This church is a very open church, the pastor is liberal theologically and politically. Most of the church is theologically liberal or open. Yet, they have a high view of Scripture, a high Christiology, they think through what they believe and not just accept what they are told. I have been there 5 months now and I tell you i have been challenged, accepted, loved, taught. I have worked hard on programs, and projects. I am learning to rethink old ways of thinking. There is so much I could say about this new experience there is not room or time to write it. I thank God for this experience.

My Faith

Sometime ago I started sharing my personal statement of faith. Well I think the Apostles Creed states what I believe most effectively. Its the basics that are most important, I can work, and fellowship across denominational lines. Those traditions that separate us are not important enough keep me from working with others. At the Hospital I have to work with folks across all lines. Here I am placing the creed here, however there are specific doctrines that I want to speak to in future posts.

One of the things that I find bothersome about the denomination of my youth, is the practice of not working with or fellowshiping across denominational lines. There seems to be an emphasis on doctrinal purity and telling folk what to believe instead of teaching how to develop their own theology and gifts for service is unhealthy. Here is the Creed

I believe in God the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only son, our Lord who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilot, was crucified, died, buried, descended to the dead. Rose again on the third day,he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of God the Father. He will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church,the communion of the saints, the forgiveness of sin, the Resurrection of the body and everlasting life. AMEN.